Marvel: Reader Inserts

Loud & Muted ~ Steve Rogers x Reader

You were fine until the incident. You never believed you had anxiety or depression until the mission had gone wrong. You were good at what you do: tactical strategies, tech ops, and infiltration expert. That was until you saw your unit wiped out when you were a military intelligence operative. You immediately blamed yourself for a tactical call, even though no one else blamed you.

You were immediately discharged and diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and depression. You took time off for therapy and to rebuild yourself, but some scars never fully heal.

Nick Fury personally recruited you for the Avengers. You were hesitant at first, but the man was insistent. You gave in, believing it could be a second chance. But you also felt like you were holding your breath for the next mistake every day.

You didn't feel like you fully belonged with the world's lightest hero's. So you did what you could to prove that you belonged. You obsessively over-prepared before missions: constantly training, studying, and preparing all that you could. Your depression allowed you to function at a high level until missions were over and then you'd slink back into your room and not leave for a day or two.

You were two months into your time with the team when Steve asked you out. You, of course, said yes. Steve was Captain America but he was also kind and caring. The two of you quickly became a couple after that. You loved Steve and knew he cared, but you still kept your anxiety and depression away from him as best as you could (which was extremely hard). You believed that telling Steve the truth would scare him off and you couldn't handle that.

Steve and you have been together for a little more than three months. The team had just gotten off a rough mission and had their post-mission debrief. You kept reliving every decision you made in your mind picking it apart. Instead of heading to your room, you headed to your office to look over the mission reports. Steve had cleaned up and went searching for you after he was unable to find you in your room. When he stumbled upon you in your office, it was dark, the only light coming from the multiple screens you had surrounding you. He sighed as he leaned against the door and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You know that it's past midnight, right?" He said softly.

You didn't even look up as you responded, "Well, time flies when you're rewriting a disaster."

"It wasn't a disaster. You got us out in one piece. We could have lost Clint in there without you."

You scoffed. "I barely got you out. I misread the timing on the drones. We got lucky." You tapped a few keys on the keyboard hard as you grew more frustrated.

"Luck didn't override the security system. You did." You huffed, opting to remain silent. Steve pushed off the doorway and walked closer, eyes focused on you. "You've been... quiet lately. Even for you."

"I'm fine. It's late. I'm tired."

"We're all tired, Y/N. But this... This is different. You look like you haven't slept in more than a few days."

You finally looked at him. Your eyes were shot, clearly tired, and your skin seemed to be shades lighter than usual.

"I said I'm fine, Steve," you told him.

"Say it like you mean it."

Your jaw tightened as you focused back on your screens. Steve hated this. Even though you two were dating, he felt like he didn't fully know you. Like you were hiding your true self under lock and key.

"Y/N," he tried again, "if something's wrong, you can tell me."

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"You're tired, you don't look well. You've been pulling away from me more than usual."

"I'm just tired."