Supernatural One Shots and imagines

Sick of holding on (A Castiel Imagine)

🚨~WARNING~🚨
ANGST AHEAD! I will be posting super fluff after this but until then ANGST! Sorry but I needed to write this...

     Cas could still hear the sound Fall Out Boy drift through the dust laced halls. The particles were enough to choke him. He could see her dancing foolishly around her room giddily. She giggled in a rare, for her, girlish fashion she beckoned him in as his eyes glazed over with tears. Every thing was dulled with a thick layer of dust, 'Why did I come here?' He thought. Cas saw Dean kicked back on his bed head banging along with the blasting music his headphones were emitting. He smiled sadly at him which went painfully unnoticed. Sam was in the library reading Tulpa lore just for the hell of it.
"Cas!" A voice crawled the hallways to him in a pleading manner. It lead him to her room were he was waltzing around with her to the familiar tune of Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy. It was their song and now He knew why. She was his angel and they used to joke, sing and dance to the beat of their hearts. Until now he hadn't dared to come back here, why would he? It was full of broken memories that were shattered by his carelessness. Cas could see her choking on her own blood, as he sat helpless in a deep trance. He could hear her devoted and passionate declarations of love as she gasped out her last breaths. The hell hounds had taken her and left him and two devastated hunters who eventually dragged her soul from hell. He couldn't get her voice out of his head as she pleaded him for forgiveness and love. He held her until her soul slipped out and into the bland grey sky leaving a whisper of love to roll off his tongue. Dean pursued the near impossible task of shutting the gates of hell and succeeded leaving only the younger Winchester to go mad and wind up taking the easy way out. Now Cas was hopelessly alone. And he could help but think that wouldn't change.

    I sat up in my bed tears clouding my eyes. I looked over to the other side of the bed were my angel would have been sleeping. Now there was a deep cold dip in the mattress holding nothing but forgotten space. I sobbed running a hand through my hopelessly tangled hair. I didn't bother slipping out of my sweatpants before setting out on the the path. I knelt down next to it and brushed my hand over the engraved words of the stone before placing a shaking hand on the petite one directly next to it.
'Castiel Winchester
Loving brother, husband, and father.'
"I am so sorry Cas. I know I come here every day and say that but I should have never told you to babysit. You knew it was dangerous and both of you died because I couldn't think straight. This is all my fault. She would have been a beautiful woman Cas. She would have and I know you tried so hard to let her live. I just want you back." I weeped, "I love you more." With this I placed a soft kiss on both stones and whispered an 'I love you sweetie' before slipping my gaze to the two tall stones on the other side. "I am all alone." I cried suddenly becoming exasperated with my entire existence as I leaned back on my brothers head stone. I couldn't hold on any longer. And I didn't plan on trying.