Supernatural One Shots and imagines

Candle on the Water (Castiel)

A/N
This may be triggering to some people so it's just a warning if you get triggered by self hate...

Out of all days for the weather forecast to be correct it was today, of course. I was too hysterical to care to much though. It was one of those days where I just felt like a waste of space, of oxygen, of life. On these particular days no one could make me think otherwise, or at least, nobody ever tried. My back was pressed against the side of the impala as my body was wracked with sobs. Terrible thoughts replaced the happy ones leaving me mind to work with the devil inside my head. I didn't want the Winchesters to know how broken I truly was. They saw exactly what I needed them to see, the badass hunter that never backs down, who is confident and strong in every way imaginable. That's the me I craved to be, the personality I strived to have. Castiel had seen me at my worst, when I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep for all of eternity never to be awoken. He was there when I was broken and afraid. But he had no idea just how bad it was, even if he tried to peer into the depths of my soul he wouldn't find the mental suicide notes my inner demons left. A part of me wishes he did some how, the angel was so easy to talk to that I could talk to him for hours.

Now with all my self esteem issues I felt helpless and hopeless. I had no where to run. Clinically they would say I am depressed and anxious but if you live the kind of life I do you'd know it was curse. A curse that ruined everything my damn life. It caused days like this to happen at random, my self esteem to lower, and one of the shortest fuse in the world. The cure? Oh you know the age old tale, true love's kiss, should be easy. Well let me just tell you that in this day in age true love is more scarce than an active MySpace user. But if that is what I need to find, I'll find it.

The rain was violently cutting through the thick summer air now. It was cold and painful but it for some unknown god forsaken reason soothed the ache of the war in my head. It made goosebumps form on my arms and legs and I shivered.
"You could catch a cold out here you know." a deep voice rang like church bells from behind me.
"Not in the mood, Cas." I lied, I was never not in the mood to talk to him. I buried my face deeper into my legs which were held to my chest by my arms. He doesn't leave, however, slowly he comes forward places his tan trench coat over my shoulders before crouching in front of me. Gently he lifts my chin to meet his eyes.
"What's wrong?" He demanded in a way that for some reason made my heart flutter.
"It's just sometimes I have these days where I feel so useless," why was I telling him this, "I feel as if I am just a screwed up shell of a person. I don't want to feel like this anymore Cas!" I sobbed falling into a tight embrace. He drew lazy circles on my back and whispered in my ear;
"I'll fix it."
"No you don't get it, you can't fix it! I am cursed to live my life like this and almost no one can fix it." I replied, my voice was soaked in aggravation.
"Then tell me who can and I'll find them, okay?" He placed a kiss on my head before he scooped me into his arm and into to bunker. I held the coat near to me and breathed in his scent. he placed me on my feet and brushed the hair away from my face.
"Who can fix this?"
"I-I don't know, the cure calls for true loves kiss and unless we get Cupid him self to come down here and tell us we have no-" before I could end my sentence a pair of plush lips collided with mine. Butterflies erupted in my stomach causing a delay in my reaction but like hell if I didn't kiss back. It was then that I felt it, something filled the void in me, the war in my head stopped because the only thing that mattered was Cas. he pulled away and I wanted to whimper at the loss.
"How about that?" He asked innocently. I nodded jokingly and replied;
"Yeah that could work." I put my arms around his neck and kissed him again. It got a little more heated this time. Cas placed his hands on my hips and connected my back to the wall.
"Ugh, guys. Get a room!" Sam groaned when he walked into the kitchen. I laughed lightly completely embarrassed. Cas looked at me with those bluer than blue eyes and questioned;
"Do you want to?" I cock my head to the side in confusion.
"Do I want to what?"
"Get a room." anyone who thought he was innocent is dead wrong.
"Hell yes." I replied breathily.