Agony (Wanda Maximoff)

Chapter 19

||"In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came, that voice which calls to me, and speaks my name."||

The angry cells that bubbled along Wanda's skin had finally diminished. She hadn't left the room since Steve brought her in, and all she managed to do was sit in bed and stare at the floor. She was going crazy.

What other possible solution could it have been? She was seeing her dead brother everywhere she went, and it only made her heart hurt more. How could she fathom the reality of her loneliness? Wanda thought she had it all under control, but clearly she didn't. She had spent days thinking of possibilities; countless hours coming up with answers, but it was all false hope.

Her brother's name on her arm? She clearly did that to herself, but simply can't remember. Seeing Pietro every time she blinks? Her mind is clearly conjuring up false images to feed her subconscious. As Wanda sat and thought hard on everything that had happened the last few weeks, she realized that it was her all along.

It was obvious she was suffering from some form of post traumatic stress. Her mind has begun to create these coping mechanisms that were making her see things and forget things. This happened to people who underwent horrible losses or suffered through some life changing event. Losing Pietro, her only blood relative, pushed her over the edge, and she hadn't even realized how gone she was.

How gone was she?

She had managed to overcome the last four months without wanting to kill herself, so that was a plus. But had happened within those weeks that she couldn't remember? Maybe a lot, and the thought makes Wanda's stomach turn. What if the team knew how screwed up she was? Maybe that's why they were being so nice and so willing to comfort her. Maybe they felt bad.

Maybe Steve didn't like her at all, and he just pitied her. But why would he go through extreme lengths to make Wanda happy?

Wanda punched down on the bed and sighed. It was Steve, he would walk through fire to make anyone happy. He was Captain America!

"Stop it," she scolded herself, and she stood from the bed and walked over to the window. The sun was setting dramatically slow, and Wanda perched herself up onto the window seat and rested her forehead against the splotchy glass.

Steve was walking down from the woods, and Wanda watched every aching step he took. He looked angry, which was rare for Steve, but he looked incredibly good in his tight-fitted t-shirt. He looked good in everything, even in khaki's.

As Wanda brought her legs up to her chest, she made a mental note to call her therapist to apologize. It was rude of Wanda to snap at her the way she did, and the more she pondered about it, the more she cringed at how she acted. Her Mother always taught her to be respectful.

Her Mother.

The thought warms Wanda's pulsing veins. She barely thought of her parents, not like she used to. Now all she thinks about is Pietro and how hard her life is going to be. If her parents saw Wanda now, they'd cradle her until she felt better, because those are the kind of parents the twins had. Wanda's Mother would rub Wanda's chubby cheeks and kiss her on the forehead until a damp spot was left.

Wanda's Father would talk to her calmly, filling her mind with facts and life lessons. She had extraordinary parents.

But her parents weren't there, and she was alone, and she had no one to kiss away the pain or talk to her about life. No one was there to keep her company the way her brother used to.

Four months? Why does it sound like such little time, but feel like an eternity? Four months since Pietro died yet she was still struggling to move on. It was ridiculous. She hated herself so much for turning into something she thought she would never be: crazy.