Black and White.
{A/N: Josh in this fic is not related to Riley, and this chapter is several years after the previous one}
Maya sat down at the kitchen table and looked out her apartment window to see the torentual rain pouring down outside and sighed softly as she heard her daughter Rowan in the living room playing with her father Josh and the blonde sighed heavily as she looked down seeing the tattoo of Riley's eyes on her forearm with Riley's name in cursive just below them. The blonde ran her fingers over the tattoo and looked down at it and smiled softly as she thought back to memories of Riley with a huge smile across her face, she didn't hear Josh put Rowan in her crib and walk out to the kitchen. "Did you see a doctor about removing that?" He asked, he wasn't a big fan of Maya's tattoo considering it was of her ex wife.
"Yeah." Maya said simply as she looked out the window again, not wanting to get into this discussion again.
"And??" Josh asked sitting across from Maya and held one of her hands.
"I'm not getting it removed." Maya whispered and looked down at the tattoo and up at her boyfriend.
"Why not??? Rowan is going to be at the age where she's going to start asking that and..." Josh said trying to hold back the sound of resentment in his voice.
"And what?" Maya asked plainly and looked into Josh's boring grey eyes. She wanted to be staring into Riley's blue and red eyes, she wanted to be starting a family with her but Josh was as close to best second as she would find in this lifetime.
"I don't want you explaining it to her, the way you talk about her to our daughter with more love than you've ever talked about me." Josh said trying not to take out his anger on Maya because he really loved her and he wanted them to work. "Please Maya you don't know how much it would mean for me if you got that removed." Josh said and Maya pulled her hand away shyly and shook her hand. "At least marry me?" He said and pleaded for her and she shook her head as she felt tears well up in her eyes and Josh got up frustratedly and leaned against the table. "Why not?" He asked, this time anger was clear in his voice.
"I'm already married we've been over th-" she said before getting interrupted with Josh slamming his hand against the kitchen table and he looked down at her.
"She left you Maya, you said so yourself." Josh said with that scarily calm voice that held so much resentment towards a woman he didn't know.
"BUT DEATH DO US PART WAAN'T IN OUR FUCKING VOWELS JOSH." She yelled crying and wiping her eyes as she felt Her tears pour down like the rain outside. "She killed herself..." Maya whispered and her body began to shake with pain as she cried out, this was the first time she had told anyone about what happened to break Riley and herself apart. "Her depression got really bad... And no one knew.." She said as she became a crying mess. "She looked fine, she continued to see her therapist, he said she was doing fine... And one day I come home." She said breaking out into a sob and Josh held her in an understanding way. "AND SHE WAS DANGLING FROM THE CIELING FAN." She burst out and wrapped her arms around him tightly as she sobbed violently and shook painfully.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I'm so sorry." Josh said and held her tightly and tried to calm down Maya as he pet her hair lovingly.
"Everything's been so black and white since she's been gone." Maya whispered, pain very evident in her voice as she whispered into his ear. "When will the color come back?" She asked and sobbed violently as she closed her eyes seeing images of Riley.
I miss you Riley.
I miss you too.
