Minseok's heart best so hard he was positive Luhan could hear it. He tried to calm himself down as discreetly as possible but to no avail. Luhan sighed and put the car in drive.
"First things first," Luhan began and Minseok held his breath.
"I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to do anything, I promise." He said earnestly, but Luhan's promises meant nothing to Minseok.
"I'm sorry." Luhan finally said after being silent for a moment. Minseok picked his head up slightly. Was his immense fear making him hear things? He cautiously turned his gaze to Luhan and was met with his eyes. Minseok nearly turned away but couldn't seem to muster the strength. There was sincerity, compassion, but also regret in his eyes. Minseok couldn't pull himself away, as he had never seen Luhan like this before. It was strange to think but, he was beautiful like this. Minseok was aware of the fact that Luhan was a gorgeous person but it was hard to acknowledge it when Luhan treated him the way he did. Minseok has no idea what to say. Suddenly he was fully aware of every detail about Luhan. He watched his chest cautiously rise and fall, and he noticed him nervously messing with his nails. He kept biting and licking lips and his eyebrows couldn't sit still. It seemed Luhan would have nothing else to say until Minseok said something, anything. Minseok took in a deep breath and tried to calm his thumping heart.
"I..." Minseok could barely get past that. "I don't understand." He finally finished. It was true, but he honestly couldn't think of anything to say beyond that. Thankfully that was enough of an answer to prompt Luhan to keep talking.
"I know it's confusing, and you probably think I'm lying, but I swear I'm not. I really am sorry." He explained in varying volumes. Something changed in Minseok and he went from a state of pure confusion and fear, to confident anger. He shifted in his seat and glared at Luhan, and for the first time in their relationship, Luhan was the one who feared what came next.
"You're sorry? You're fucking sorry? Luhan we both know this is bullshit so please, cut the fucking act and beat me to your liking so it can over. I'm so sick of your game of fear and cruelty. Just fucking kill me already and have it be done with!" Minseok ended up screaming at his adversary without even noticing it, and despite the words he was saying, he felt powerful over Luhan. Luhan was speechless. He wanted to tell Minseok he wasn't lying and he wasn't going to hurt him anymore but it was obvious he wouldn't listen. Minseok's face was red and he was clenching and unclenching his fists. There was a deafening silence in the car that made Luhan want to scream just for some kind of sound.
"I'm... I'm s-sorry." Luhan looked down at his lap and muttered. Minseok gasped quietly when he heard the faint drop of liquid onto Luhan's khaki pants. He stared at his leg and watched the beige color instantly turn darker from the water. He turned his attention to Luhan. A line of tears had traveled down his face and dripped at his chin. Minseok was astonished. How in God's name could Luhan be crying, here, in this situation, in front of Minseok. Nothing that was happening was adding up and Minseok was sure at this point that he had gone home, passed out, and all of this was some crazy fever dream he would soon wake up from. Luhan wiped the tears off his face quickly and pulled the car from the curb. Minseok fell back into his seat and was silent. Luhan drove for nearly 20 minutes in silence before Minseok spoke up.
"Why do you know the way to my house?" He asked quietly in a monotone voice. Luhan answered immediately.
"I had a friend who used to live in your house before he moved." Minseok furrowed his brows. Minseok's house was fairly small and far from extravagant, and must look like a homeless shelter to the kids at his school. How could Luhan be friends with someone who would live in a place like that? The silence continued for another 10 minutes before it was broken again, and the question made Luhan wish for silence again.
