The Perfect Mix

Eight. The Perfect Mix of Friends and Failure

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                I woke up to the sound of my phone again. This time my phone got it right. It was Monday. It was Monday two weeks after Jane left. Here I go again, still talking about Jane. My friends have been telling me that there are plenty more things to talk about other than her. Like say for example, it’s already finals next week and I dropped out of Physics. So here are the things I can honestly talk about, number one is definitely still Jane, number two is Physics and finals exam and number three is my friends.

                Let’s start with the later, my friends. My friends have been highly supportive of me since the Jane incident. Of course I told Ron first, which led to Mike knowing about it. Soon, there’s a flock of messages ranging from “how I was” and “have you played this video game yet?”. Of course there are also friends from my high school, my “girlfriends” as I call them who would message me about the incident then I ended up comforting them instead of me, which did me great since I do not want anyone to worry about me. I hated Mike for telling them about the incident but still I’m thankful for all their support.

                Mark and Lucas also found out about the incident because they kept nagging me about why I hadn’t been attending Physics and why I act more like a lifeless robot. When they found out they started saying bad things about Jane, just like what they did with my ex. I know they are only doing it to comfort me. They also invited me to come with them to different places, mostly doing errands for Mark’s family. I still think they wanted to go someplace else like where they took me and Jane to, but they did the best they could to keep me company which is really cool. I think this is the best definition of bromance.

                I also found new friends along the way. Remember the girl who was on top of the stairs at Jane’s party? Her name is Lisa. After a meeting with my college adviser, I went out the hall and saw her standing there, she noticed me and asked me if I saw her before. Of course I said yes, then she asked me where and I told her it was at Jane’s party. She then asked me in a hysterical but comical fashion “Did I kiss you in that party?”. And of course, I said NO! Then she asked me if she did something much worse and I also said no. She then gave a sigh of relief and she told me she I look nice and then she left.

                That meeting with my college adviser brings us to number two. My college adviser called me to a conference with her. She started asking me about how my studies were and she also said she noticed that I’m a little out of focus that trimester. Then she told me the worse of news, she told me that I incurred a lot of absences in Physics class and that I have dropped out. I played it cool though, I knew this was inevitable, I did skip a few classes even before just to eat lunch, I guess I got hungry a lot. One person didn’t play it cool though and it was my mom. She was worried not only about me and the way I acted the past few weeks but she was worried about how she’ll get manage to pay for next year’s tuition fee knowing that my brother is already graduating from high school. Our fingers were crossed that he’ll be accepted as a varsity scholar.

                Anyway back to my studies, I plan on taking Physics again next year and I plan on nailing it this time. Since I already dropped out of that subject I decided to focus on the other ones. Next week was finals week and I really have to bring my “A” game to avoid further disappointments.

                Finally the last thing I wanted to talk about but ended up talking about each and everytime I’m with friends, Jane. The week before Jane left I felt angry, numb and depressed. The week Jane decided to hook up with her ex and kiss him on their garden only brought me one emotion, anger. I remember coming home from that horrible night, went straight to my room and started punching one of my pillows repeatedly. The last time I cried was on the bus and I wasn’t proud of it.               

The following day, Ron came over and that’s when I told him about the entire story. We played a few video games just to get my mind off things. When Monday came, I was feeling really sick so I had to be absent. I remember my mom being worried because my fever was so high. It wasn’t until Wednesday where I finally went to school.

 Remember the two guys who were with Jane the moment I met her? They came up to me while I was eating alone on the cafeteria. They told me about how Jane would cry ask all of her friends what to do and all of them came up with that email and they advised her that the rest is all up to me. However, her ex-boyfriend somehow came to the picture that morning before the party and started talking to Jane. He told her that he missed her and that they should be together before she went to Canada which she agreed to. Nobody expected me to come to the party and most of Jane’s friends do not even know me by face to stop me from coming towards the door. They also said sorry to me and I told them that they shouldn’t be sorry. That is when all my anger depleted. Maybe I waited too long. Maybe Jane was still in love with her ex.

Whatever went wrong between me and Jane didn’t really matter. For today, Jane is gone. All that’s left are regrets and traces of her that I could never get rid off.