Destiny | JiLix

Waiting

When Jisung woke up, he didn't know where he was. It was dark around him and it smelled unpleasantly of disinfectant.

But before panic could rise in him, a hand was laid on his and gently caressed it.

"I'm here... You're not alone," he heard Chan's tired voice.

"W-what about F-Felix?"

Sighing, Chan straightened up and turned on the light so that Jisung could see him. Worry was written deep on his face and the panic immediately rose back.

"Breathe! Felix is still in surgery. No one wanted to tell me how he is, cause we're not his family. But his parents will be here soon. Maybe we'll find out then."

The information only slowly got to Jisung. All he had wanted to hear was that Felix was fine.

With tears in his eyes, he straightened up and stretched out his arms to Chan. The tears threatening to run down his cheeks.

"No... he'll make it! He's strong," Chan whispered, sitting on Jisung's bed and wrapped his arms around him.

Jisung frantically tried to hold back the tears. He wanted to be strong for Felix. Wanted to push the negative thoughts and doubts aside. But he felt so infinitely guilty.

If Felix hadn't helped him in the forest back then, he definitely wouldn't be fighting for his life now.

Inevitably, tears ran down his cheeks. And although he tried at least to suppress his sobs, he didn't succeed either.

Chan held him. Gently rubbed his back, repeating over and over again that Felix would make it.

"T-that's... it's all m-my fault," Jisung sobbed and struggled for air. His nose was blocked from crying that much, and his head hurt like crazy.

Sighing, Chan patted his hair. "No, it's not!"

But his words didn't reach Jisung. He just fell deeper into panic and guilt. Practically drowned in those feeling's that he began to scratch his leg manically.

Worried, Chan jumped up. He didn't really want to leave Jisung alone, but the younger definitely needed something to calm him down.

Chan quickly ran to the door. Fortunately, a doctor just came to towards him and reacted promptly to Chan's help-seeking, somewhat panicked look. "My friend needs help. I think he has a panic attack," he said and immediately ran back to bed.

A quick glance at Jisung was enough and the doctor ran off to get something, while Chan sat back on the bed and held his hands tightly.

Shortly after, the doctor was back and injected something through the cannula in Jisung's arm. "He will fall asleep soon. Can you stay with him?"

Chan nodded. He hadn't planned to leave Jisung alone anyway.

"Can you take me... in your arms...?" Jisung's voice sounded drone, as if he didn't really know what was happening.

Without hesitation, Chan crawled on to the narrow bed and wrapped his arms around the younger one protectively. "I'm here," Chan muttered and pressed a kiss on Jisung's temple.

It didn't take long before Jisung fell asleep.

And although Chan had sworn not to sleep until Felix would get out of the OR, the fatigue simply overwhelmed him.

⧼•||•⧽

The waiting area was filled with fearful silence.

Minho and Changbin had offered the younger ones to drive them home several times, but they all stayed.