hometown « josh dun »

January 30, 2000

Dear Josh,

I'm sorry about Avery. Tyler never told me you liked her. I never noticed. I'm really sorry I acidentaly spilled ice cream on her shirt and I pushed her bike over when I tried to say sorry to her. I did'nt mean to do any of that because I know Avery was a good friend to you. I dont really like Avery but I promise it was all an accident. I dont like that she likes you because I know she likes everyone also she always hated me since she and I were classmates in second grade. She keeps taking my friends and kissing the boys just because she was always older then us. I think Avery is just pretty but not nice so I thought you would never like someone like her. I am really sorry Josh I hope you understand and start talking to me again.

xoxo, Abby M

I run my hand through my hair, bouncing my leg a little, cringing a lot at this. I did all that on purpose. Avery Gills was a thirteen year old in fifth grade because she got held back, and was also pretty much a bitch. In second grade, she threw money in my bathroom stall and told our adviser that I had stole it from her. In third, she used my extra t-shirt from our field trip to wipe up her food that spilled. And in fourth, she already had boobs, and began kissing boys and such. So, by fifth grade, when I caught wind of the fact that Josh and Avery liked each other, I plotted my revenge.
Avery had asked Josh if he wanted to go get ice cream wih her, to which Josh replied, yes, as long as Tyler could come along, which Tyler replied yes, as long as I could come along.
So we biked over to this diner that they took down in my Sophomore year, and ordered four of whatever, I've forgotten what. While Tyler and Avery were talking, I remember thinking for a while how to aim my arm at the exact spot that when I stretched, Avery's ice cream would spill all over her stupid purple Barbie t-shirt. I damn don't regret that now. When I think it through, I actually feel good. Better than when I looked back on it in high school.
So then Josh made me follow her home and apologize, and this one was the accident. I leaned my bike closer to hers as we rode downhill, and lost control, pushing her into a mud puddle.
Right now, in my dorm, I literally snort at the thought, my house mate giving me a weird look as she walks past my door. I don't mind her.
So, Avery rose from the mud puddle, and I ran towards her, my knees all scraped up from falling on her, and she screamed at me, as Tyler and Josh followed us. She walked right up to me, looking down at me, her stupid twelve year old eyes filled with pure anger. "Freak," she spat, and then backed up. "You stupid little weird freak! No one will ever love you! I bet even your parents think you're a freak!"
It was something along the lines of that, I remember because it was the first real time I got pissed at someone, I remember Tyler holding me back because I kept trying to scratch her and kick her right in the face.
And what did Josh do? He walked away. He didn't talk to me at school. He didn't walk home with Tyler and I, and he didn't come see me like he usually did. Maybe if I just left him alone then, this would all be easier.
Tyler gave him my letter again, and he didn't write back. He didn't talk about it with me. He didn't write me an apology either.
He just popped right back into my life, as if nothing happened between us. I didn't question him, or anything. He was back to older brother Josh and Tyler. This made me sad for a while. Vey sad. I didn't even know why.

Febuary 1, 2000

Dear Josh,

I wrote you a little poem during english yesterday.

Do you even care
That she stuck gum
In my hair?
Do you even care
That she took the fun
Out of the air?
Because I care
That you cant even
Look at me
And I care
That she doesnt stop
Glaring at me

Fr: Abby M

I didn't write that one in English class. I wrote it in my room while my older cousins watched rom-coms on my TV. That one was the first letter I never sent to anyone. That's when I made this folder of letters to Josh Dun.