so, some couples I know have inspired me to write this.
like, evan and des for instance sighevan and desirae- because they're so fucking cute but evan is so awkward sometimes. like sweetheart, please at least strip des once, she would like it if you slammed her onto the table and told her to pucker up princess and then make out with her-
I know she'd like that.
let's just write a story on them.
there once was a couple named devan. they were so fucking cute together, and Evan made des feel special because Devan.
with all their cute pick up lines and their laughter filling the air because they were so happy to be together. but des wanted to take things to the next level.
and there Evan sat thinking, how the fuck do I take it to the next level like I'm new at this shit?
he turned to look at his girlfriend who was crying and yelling at the television as she watched her 69 episodes of gossip girl as she ate her burritos.
they were both so awkward that both of them could never tell each other that they want to "touch tips".
so that night as des went to sleep and Evan went into the kitchen,
SEX GURU DILL APPEARED.
"Fucker, why aren't you fucking des right now?" She asked in a really mean voice and Evan just shrugged.
"I don't know what the fuck im doing." Evan sighed.
and that's when she knew what to do. lessons.
so dillon told Evan to make out with her first, and because of his awkwardness could only really make out with spoons-
and with those spoons they only ate ice cream. But it was hella progress.
And finally as they watched their movie Evan leaned in, made out with des and they fucked on the couch and lived happily ever after as sex monkeys the end (-:
YOU ARE READING
advice for boyfriends 101
Romanceso, this is for all the boys out there that don't know where the fuck to start when it comes to girls. this is what your girlfriend expects from you basically inspired by des, cover is from her as well-
