Silver Lining

When Do I Love

When do I love took place about 15-16 years ago, it was way back 1997 when I was in 4th grade with Lalaine Wilson.

We were schoolmates in this public school when were on 3rd grade and became classmates on 4th grade, who knows what love is or if you really are in love at that age. Some refers to it as puppy love or just a plain crush or an infatuation until you find yourself looking for answers why you always have her at the back of your mind over the years, specially when you’re with someone.

Back then, Lalaine and I weren’t that close but I do remember some things about her, she cries a lot I know, she was always running around like usual kids does, I remember this thing about her that she always has this little ribbon red ribbon/lace on her blouse and plays with it often times. She always has a towel at her back because she really does sweat a lot although I forgot how she smells back then when she’s all sweaty and sticky and it’s pretty obvious when she puts on powder because you can see a lot in her neck and some on her face, oh and she partners her uniform with a rubber shoes. Those are some of the things I remembered about her and I can’t get rid off, and I don’t even know why.

We both transferred on different school after 4th grade, she went back t their province and I transferred on a private school just blocks away from this previous school. We did have our own lives for the whole 15 years and I don’t even know if she ever thinks about me, well actually I didn’t know back then that she transfers from another school and moved back to their province until I visited our previous school after graduating from 6th grade. So I went to our former school and checked on my previous classmates, some of them were still there but transferred too. I asked one of my former classmates if Lalaine is still studying there;

“Hey! Ray, how are you? How’s Lalaine? How’s everybody?” I asked my former classmate, Ray.

“Oh! They’re over at the principals’ office getting their clearance done. Lalaine? You still remember her?” he said.

“Yes! Of course I wouldn’t forget about her” I answered.

“She’s not here anymore, you two transferred from different school after 4th grade” he explains.

I was saddened a little knowing that she wasn’t there anymore because she was the only reason I visited my previous school right after their graduation. So I walk my way home after hanging out with some of my friends and again, there she goes again popping in my head but here’s the funny part; I kept  on thinking about her but I don’t even know where she lives and the other thing is I just can’t remember her full name, all I know was her first name, Lalaine.

When I heard of this online community called Friendster where you can connect and find people on the internet I registered there and create an account. Friendster was very popular those days but still, I couldn’t find her.

Though I’m having some serious relationships during those times, I just can’t help to think about her and every time I went online and open my friendster account I always search for her, I even go to my friends list and search on our common friends account if they added her. There’s this one time that I’m having a movie date with my girlfriend then suddenly her name just come out from my mouth;

“Lalaine” I whispered.

“What was that?” my girlfriend asks, sounded a little jealous.

“Huh? Nothing” I answeed.

“No. I thought I heard you saying Lalaine?” she insists.

“Oh yeah! Lalaine, she was my classmate back in the 4th grade and she actually looks like that little kid on the movie” I answered.

“Ok. I thought you’re imagining someone” she replied and get back to the movie.