A new day (duncney!!) || By Duncn3yStan

Where are you, Ma?

previously...

Suddenly, she breaks the kiss and says to me:

'Duncan, I'm so sorry. This was a mistake. I'll leave.'

Then, she kisses my cheek and runs away, off into the sunset.

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DUNCAN POV:

I freeze, unable to move, as if in a trancelike state.

Courtney Satella kissed me.

She kissed me like I was the only thing that mattered, as if I was the only one she'd ever loved.
And then she ran off into the sunset.

Funny, everyone's always left. I found that out pretty early on in life.

Much earlier than some people may expect.

Ma used to say she loved me and Jess more than anything.
But you can only hear that so many times while she's passed out on the couch, or yelling at another one of us for being too loud, before you stop believing it.

I remember being seven, standing by the window at two in the morning, clutching Jess's old hoodie because it still smelled like her.

Waiting.

Waiting for a mum who didn't even remember she had kids some nights.

Hoping, with all the power my little body could muster, that Ma would come back to us.

Come home to her children, her babies as we once were. They all say, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. Our energy bills were too high for that.

As time passed, I came to realise that Jess was the only one who truly stayed by me. She was too young, too maternal and too mature for her age.

She was sixteen when she started keeping a bat under her bed, just in case one of Ma's new boyfriends got stupid.

She was seventeen when she figured out how to fake a smile and tell the school counselor everything was fine.

And she was eighteen when she grabbed my hand, shoved two bags of clothes in the backseat of a beat-up car she bought with waitressing tips, and said, "Come on, baby bro. We're done here."

We drove three states over that night.

I remember watching the city lights blur past the window and wondering if this was what freedom was supposed to feel like.

It didn't.

It felt like maybe there was something broken inside me that would never get fixed.

But Jess tried. Hell, she tried so hard to put me back together. Movie nights with stupid romcoms, pizza for breakfast, endless lectures about staying out of juvie. She did everything she possibly could to let me have a normal life.

She stayed when nobody else ever did.

So, I naturally built walls. Big ones.

Steel and barbed wire and fists ready to swing at anyone who got too close. Better to punch first than wait for the hit. I've suffered too many hits not to remember.

And then...
Courtney.

Courtney with her stubborn mouth, and her impossible attitude and her lists and rules and everything I thought I hated.

Courtney who called me out on my crap and still looked at me like I was worth something.
Courtney who kissed me like I was the only one in her world.

And now she's gone.

Just like Ma.
Just like everyone else.

I rub a hand through my hair — the same spot she used to be playing with; and laugh.
It's a rough, broken sound that bounces off the tunnel walls and sounds like it belongs to someone else. It's a laugh I stifle painfully, accepting my stupidity.

"Nice going, moron, you chased them all out yet again!" I mutter.

I should've chased her.
Ran after her.
Demanded to know why she kissed me like she meant it and then ran like she didn't.

But I don't.

Because chasing someone who's already decided you're a mistake?

Yeah.
Been there.
Done that.
Got the scars to prove it.

So instead, I sink down against the cold wall, head tipped back, eyes closed.
Let the silence swallow me.

If you wait long enough, maybe the ache dulls.
Maybe the memories stop clawing at your throat.
Maybe you forget how good it felt to be wanted, even for a second.

Maybe.

I don't believe it. I never have.
But I have to pretend.

It's the only way I've survived this long.

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your welcome for the angst eheeehhehe 😈😈

anyway hoped u liked this chapter and give me some tips or things u wanna see in the future, im always open for ideas!!

love,

a.n 

<33333