Tevun-Krus #20 - WattPunk

Chatting With Sir Daniel James Colt, from @AngusEcrivain's 'Half-Light.'

Tell us about yourself. Who are you? What makes you tick?

Sir Daniel James Colt. I'll be honest, y'all don't really need to know much more than that. As for what makes me tick... Kicking arse and taking names, killing the bad guys who do bad shit. Quite partial to getting down and dirty with a hot redhead, too, but hey I ain't prejudiced or anything; blondes and brunettes are just as welcome.

If you had to describe yourself in one word, what words wouldn't you use?

Hero. Villain. Coward. At the end of the day I'm just a guy who does what he can, because he can.

What was your nickname at school?

School? Never went to school, me. I was raised on a generation ship, part of the last generation before we found a star system to call our own. Me and folk like me had our education stripping and repairing engines, staging dogfights and learning basic survival skills.

Headstones tell us an awful lot about who a person was. Is there anything in particular you'd like yours to say?

'Here lies a sexy bastard. Ladies, step on up,' haha!

No in all seriousness I don't care. Death's gonna' come for me eventually but I'll tell you this for free; I'm taking that bastard with me.

When you were a young padawan, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Honestly, all I wanted to do when I was a kid was to survive. That's all any of us could've hoped for back then and believe me when I say, many people didn't survive. Those first few years in our new star system were pretty bad, but not half as bad as things that came after.

Since then all I've wanted to do is settle down with a hottie or three, find a nice patch of land and live a simple life raising a few younglings.

Maybe one day, eh? Not entirely sure I can see anything like that in my future. Not sure I deserve it, either.

What is your favourite quote?

I'm not much of a reader and I certainly ain't a philosopher so don't go expecting something literate or profound or whatever. In fact the best you're gonna' get from me is something from an old TV show I've watched time and time again; Orca's got quite the collection on her servers, see.

'I aim to misbehave.'

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that sums me up.

Why did you choose your profession? If you did, indeed, choose it, of course.

It'd be nice if I got paid for the shit I do. Fact is, that's never gonna' happen but I've got a ship, I've got friends and I've got kids. What more could a guy ask for, really? I do what I do for them.

As your crew cast your lifeless body into the core of the nearest star, list three pieces

of music likely to be rattling the bulkheads.

'Tell Slater Not To Wash His Dick,' by Bring Me The Horizon, 'Bad Moon Rising,' by Creedance Clearwater Revival, and Tatu's 'All The Things She Said.' What can I say? Those chicks are hot!

If you were one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which one would you be and why?

Don't much care for the Horsemen and I've had far too many run ins with those psychotic bastards to even entertain the thought of taking the guise of any of them. I'd much rather be the bad motherfucker who finally ends them and the thing is, get to know me and you'll pretty soon realise I can.

What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

Man, I need a beer. And a cigarette.

Is there a particular moment in history that you would change if you could, regardless of the consequences?

Gotta' be honest with you, there's only one thing I'd change about my own past. That bitch who drugged me, kept me doped for six months, so f**king high I didn't even know I was repeatedly raping two of those I call friends.

'Course, one good thing came out of that shit, and y'all should know my daughter's just about as bat-shit crazy as I am!

What's next for you? Love? Life? Death? Retiring to a two-bed cottage on the shore of a picturesque loch in the Scottish Highlands?

Well to be fair, as nice as a two-bed cottage in the Highlands sounds, that ain't where I'm gonna' end up. I'll be going out exactly the same way as I've spent the majority of my life; with a smile on my face, a sword in my hand and a twenty deck in my pocket.

Should you have any descendants, how would you like them to remember you?

For my faults, 'cos man I don't mind telling you I've got plenty. Thing is, it's my faults that made me the man I am. It's my faults that've made it possible for me to have a chronological age north of 100,000 years old even though I don't look a day over thirty.

But above all, I hope they remember that even though I'm a good guy I've never been good. I do what needs to be done, and sometimes that means doing what no one else wants to do.