Confessions of the Lost

The Downfall

"Long story short," Kyle said, taking a long hit off the joint we were passing around, "I got suspended." 

"Haha!" Anna yelled. "Golden boy got in trouble! Wow,"

We were all sitting around in Anna's basement room, it was our usual hang out. There wasn't much to it, a large brown wrap around couch and a large flat screen TV perched on the wall. It was just enough for us, plus her parents never came down so we had privacy. Tonight though, her parents were out clubbing, something they did a lot.  

"Well babe, I'm suspended too, so we can spend it together," I laughed, grabbing the joint away from him. 

Kyle's my 6'3, blonde haired, blue eyed, beautiful boyfriend. For our six month anniversary we decided to get high in the janitors closet at school. Of course we got caught, and obviously suspended.  

Seaford High looked down on teenage rebellion. You would get suspend for just getting caught using a curse word, it was some dumb shit. Haha, see what I did there?  

Kyle wasn't always like this, he used to get great grades and played football. Somehow, I sucked him into my fucked up little world and now he was a pot-head, just like me.  

"Well aren't you two just a cute little delinquent couple," Anna laughed.  

Anna Barton was my absolute best friend and partner in crime. When we met our freshman year, she was a shy nerdy girl, who never spoke to anyone. Now she was loud and mean, I guess I changed her too.  

"Anna, if you get in enough trouble tomorrow we can make this one big party," I said excitedly.  

I passed the roach to her carefully, I didn't want to burn either one of us.  

"Maybe I will," She replied, blowing smoke into my face. "Where the hell is Eric?" 

Eric, Anna's brother, had left the house an hour ago to get some alcohol. Anna, Kyle, and I were all 16, so we couldn't get beer, but Eric was 21.  

I was always with Anna and Eric, always at their house, eating their food, and sleeping on their couch. I hated my house, everything about it pissed me off.  

My dad and I didn't get along, and my step-mother annoyed the hell out of me. She had this high-pitched bird voice that drove me up the wall. Not to mention she was all sunshine and daisies, nobody likes that.  

My mom divorced my dad when I was 11, then when I was 12 she got breast cancer, and she died when I was 13. It was a rough few years. I didn't talk to anyone and had not one friend. That was until I met Carter Wilson, a hot 16 year old boy who moved in across the street from me a year later. He hated everything and everyone too, so we got along pretty well. He was where all my problems began; gave me my first drink of alcohol, first cigarette, and first experience with pot.  

He's not around anymore, he went to jail a year ago for reasons I'm not sure of. One day he was at my house rolling a joint and the next he was gone. When I went to his house to see him, his mother told me he was arrested and not to come back. 

"Delivery!" Eric sang as he walked through the front door.  

"Finally, man," Kyle said with a scowl, "What took you so damn long?"  

"Met a girl, got her number, and now got a date." 

Eric sat the beer down in the middle of the three of us and sat on the floor beside me.  

"Looking good Sammie," he winked. 

"Lay off," Kyle spat out.  

Eric opened up a beer and handed it to me like he hadn't even heard Kyle. I rolled my eyes, Eric was a huge flirt and even the fact that I was underage couldn't stop him. He was a good looking guy with is messy black hair and pretty green eyes, but he was a huge player, and probably had more STD's than a porn star. 

______________________ 

5 beers and two more joints later, I was fried.  

"You spin my head right round, right round...um...something about down town!" Anna sang, while twirling around her living room.  

"That's not how it goes," I laughed.  

Eric had already passed out on the couch and Kyle was looking like he was next. Actually, Kyle looked like he was already asleep.  

Something about Kyle seemed off, so I looked more closely at him, I didn't think he was breathing so I sat my hand on his chest and watched horrified at my unmoving hand.  

I quickly got off my butt and onto my knees over his body, I placed my hand under his nose, and nothing. 

"Anna, help me!" I shouted, "Kyle isn't breathing!" 

Anna immediately stopped singing and threw herself towards me. She repeated the same tests that I had before looking at me with huge eyes. 

"CPR!" She yelled, "Do you know it?" 

"No," I cried.  

Anna started pushing down on Kyle's chest while I dialed 911.  

__________________________ 

That was officially the worst night of my life. Kyle had died that night from a mix of the drugs and alcohol. The weed we had smoked was laced with other drugs that the police wouldn't tell us about. They thought that Kyle may have had a bad, possibly allergic reaction to whatever was in there. 

Anna's parents came home to a house full of police and of course flipped out. They told Anna that she could no longer see me. Eric got arrested for providing alcohol to minors. Me? I got picked up by my father at one in the morning only to be told I had to move out by the end of the month.  

I wasn't surprised by that, my father and I had been fighting a lot and after I got suspended he had warned me. 

I didn't particularly care that I got kicked out, I had places to go. The only thing about that whole situation that killed me was that Kyle's parents wouldn't let me go to the funeral. They knew it was my fault that their son had died, they had known it from the beginning that I was bad news, and they had never like me. 

I went to his funeral, however, hidden off behind some trees. I couldn't hear what was being said, but I did watch as they lowered his casket. I cried to myself under a large tree until everyone had left, and then I slept by his grave that night.  

I swore that day that I would never suck anyone else down with me. I wouldn't bring anyone else into my messed up world. I decided that I would just stick with my already messed up friends and leave everyone else alone.