Confessions of the Lost

Diseased

I was sitting in the most uncomfortable chair ever, with Luke right next to me. His had was resting on my back, while my head rested in my hands.  

Luke and I had brought Anna to the hospital. I know I should have called 911, but then Anna would have gotten expelled. Luke helped me sneak her out of the school and then got us to the hospital in record time. Of course we got yelled at by the emergency room nurse for not calling an ambulance, but that was the least of my worries.  

I didn't know how Anna was doing. They rushed her away from me and wouldn't let me follow. Luke and I had been silently sitting in the waiting room of the ICU for two hours. He hadn't made any attempt to talk, and neither did I. I couldn't really explain anything to him, he didn't know about Kyle and I wanted to keep it that way.  

I should have been there for Anna, I shouldn't have forgotten the importance of this day. I was so busy dealing with Luke that I left her to deal with everything on her own. She turned to the worst person in the world; Dom. He was evil in carnet. He was exactly like every drug dealer you see in the movies; crazy violent, wacked out all the time, and insanely scary. He had lackeys that were equally as messed up as he was, they always looked dirty, like they had never seen a shower before. The sad part was that Anna and I used to chill with them on a regular basis, until Kyle died.  

"Are you here for Anna Barton?" A deep voice asked. 

"Yes!" I shouted. I jumped from my chair and ran up to the gray haired man in a white lab coat.  

"Are you family?" He asked. 

"No, but I am her best friend," I said quickly. 

"I'm Dr. Ashler. . ." He began, only to be interrupted by the doors slamming into the wall.  

"Where is my daughter? Anna Barton, where is she?" Anna's mom yelled. She was storming down the hall with Anna's dad trailing behind her. They both looked like they had just been through a tornado, hangover was my guess. 

"Are you Anna's parents?" The Doctor asked. 

"Yes!" She said, rushing over to us. She hadn't even noticed I was standing there, all her attention was focused on the doctor.  

"Anna is stable, but unconscious. He blood results show that she had Marijuana, Cocaine, and Ecstasy in her system. I believe she over-dosed." As he spoke, his eyes kept darting over to me. "Did you give her the drugs?" He asked, looking at me. 

"No," I replied in monotone. 

"Do you know who did?" 

"No," I lied. A good rule of thumb; snitches get stitches. Dom takes that rule very seriously.  

Anna's mother snapped her head in my direction, finally noticing my presence. Her face screwed into a scowl and I cringed back slightly.  

"What the hell are you doing here?" She hissed at me. 

"I brought her here," I said. I made myself stand tall, trying my best not to feel intimidated.Anna's mom wasn't a huge woman, in fact she was ridiculously skinny, but she was mean.  

"You did this to her!" She said, her voice rising at the end. She stepped closer to me as I stepped back.  

"No, I didn't give her the drugs. Mrs. Barton," I mentally congratulated myself when my voice came out solid. 

"Liar!" She yelled. Her hand moved with lightning speed as it collided with my cheek, yeah, she smacked the shit out of me.  

I stumbled back into Luke, effectively reminding me that he was there with me.  

"You're a disease, Samantha!" She continued to yell as her husband jumped foward and held her away from me.

"I didn't do it!" I yelled back at her. I made a move to go towards her, but Luke held onto my arm. "I helped her you bitch!" She had stuck a nerve and I became instantly pissed, I couldn't hold myself back anymore.

Anna's mom broke free from her husband's hold at the same time I broke away from Luke. We smashed into each other, pushing and smacking, each trying to inflict damage.

I was quickly wrapped up in Luke's arms from behind. He quietly told me to calm down, but I was too worked up. "I've been here with her for two hours! Where have you been?" I shouted, "Sleeping off all the alcohol I bet!" I was still struggling against Luke's arms, I just wanted to rip her hair out. 

"This is all your fault, just like before!" She cried. Tears were streaming down her face at a quick pace. "My children were fine until you came along, and I'm sure Kyle's parents feel the same way!"  

My body froze at her words, I stopped fighting against Luke's hold, and I felt tears sting my eyes. She could have left Kyle out of it, she could have left his parents out of it, but no; she went for the kill shot and I had no response. 

"Leave," she hissed through her tears, "Stay away from my family." 

I made no attempt to move, I just watched as the doctor led them away. It felt like my heart had broken open at the mention of Kyle, the wound once again felt fresh and I was drowning in guilt.  

"Sammie, are you ok?" Luke asked from behind me. His arms were still secured around my waist. I admit that it was a nice feeling, but Anna's mom had reminded me of who I was; diseased Sammie, the girl who ruined lives.

I moved his arms away from me and turned to face him, his eyes were filled with worry. 

"I need a drink," I sighed, "take me home." 

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" He asked. 

"Yeah, I think it's a great idea. In fact, I think I'll make a day of it and get high too." 

"What?" He shouted, "Your best friend is in the ICU because she got too high, and you're just gonna go home and get high?" 

I just stared at him. Of course he made a good point, but I couldn't stay here, and I didn't want to stay in reality. That left me with my hobbies; drunk and stoned.

"This is a wake-up call Sam," He sighed. He rubbed his hands over his face. I could see how stressed out he was. I had done that to him. "You need to stay sober." 

"No, I don't. What I need is for you to take me home and then leave."  

"Sam, just come back to school with me," He pleaded. 

"We can't hang out anymore. Once we finish this project I think we should go back to not talking." I said calmly. I had made up my mind, I wasn't going to be a disease for him too.  

"What? Why?" he asked, his eyes wide.  

"Look at you," I said exasperated, "You have known me for one week . . ." 

"I've know you for almost a year," he interrupted.  

"No, you've known of me for almost a year. You have only known me for like a week and look at you." I said throwing my hands up, "you're at the hospital with a druggie and her overdosed friend." 

"Sam, don't . . ." He began, but I jumped in before he could get any further. 

"No! You don't. In one week I have managed to drag you into drug related shit, and wipe the constant smile off your face." 

"I chose to be here!" he shouted. 

"We aren't friends, I don't want to hang out with you anymore." I shouted back.

Luke stared at me. I could tell he was trying to think of something to change my mind, but I also knew that there was nothing he could say that would do that.  

"Fine Sam, have it your way." He said narrowing his eyes at me, "Have it all your way. We aren't friends, we can split the rest of our project so you don't have to see me anymore. Just finish section three and four and give it to me when you're done." With that, he stepped around me and headed towards the exit.  

I felt nothing but emptiness inside me when he walked away. 

I guess I  lost my ride.