Summer Camp (DDLB)

(21) A chit chat

JOHN POV

We had made it all the way away back to the cabin, and not said a word. I just wanted to leave the mean boy behind me.

I push open the cabin door, not even letting Asher finish turning the knob. I walk in and throw myself on the crib, one side still pulled down from last night.

I bury my head into the pillow, and pull Sir Bear tight to my chest. My back is to the room as I curl my legs, taking the shape of a ball.

"Little bear what's wrong? You've been upset since we left the play room." Asher questions me in a soft voice.

"Don't call me little bear." I snap back, fresh tears at my eyes. I hated talking to him like this, but I had to.

Asher is quiet but seconds later I feel the mattress dip. His hand touches my leg, softly brushing the skin. I jump from the touch, pulling away and further into myself.

"John, baby, talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about." My voice wobbles and I bite on Sir Bear's ear to stop my lip from shaking.

Asher sighs but doesn't get up, instead his hands go around my torso, pulling me up. I fight against him, grabbing onto the sheets and trying to make myself heavy.

"Shtoppppp." I cry around Sir Bear's ear, my attempts at staying away from Asher fail. He's cradling me now, my head tucked between his neck and his shoulder.

"Shhhh." He whispers, bouncing his legs gently and using one of his hands to softly rub my back.

"Nu pease." I sniffle but I can't force myself to push him away.

"Shhhh." He quiets my weak protests, and I accept the cuddles. We sit in silence, and my thoughts drift to the lake. We're supposed to meet the group, but I don't want to anymore. I didn't want to do anything but curl into a ball and pretend I didn't exist.

"John." Asher pries after some time, "You gotta talk to me." I don't answer.

"We're not leaving until you talk." He threatens lightly.

"Don't wanna go no more." I mumble, voiding his threat.

"Why not?" I shake my head. I don't want to answer questions. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't.

"Go without me." I mumble.

"I won't."

"You won't or you can't? Camp rules, right?" The venom in my voice is weak, and I sound softer than I wanted to.

"I won't, and not because of some rules. You're my baby." I hate the word.

"Only because you're stuck with me."

"I'm not stuck with you, at any point I can change who my Little is, but I don't want to. I want you to be my little. Who gave you the idea that I was stuck with you." Asher has a bite to his tone and it only brings back the tears.

"Don't cry little bear." He wipes at my cheeks with a rough thumb.

"Who told you?" He doubled down on the question.

"No one." I lie and the words are bitter in my mouth.

"Then what did I do? I made you feel that way, let me fix it." The thought that he think he did something wrong stabs me in the stomach.

"Nooo," I cry. "You're perfect." I almost hate how perfect he is. But I can't hate him, not truly.

"Is that the problem then? Help me John, please. I hate to see you cry."

"No." I shake my head and wrap my arms around my Asher in a death gripping hug. He returns the hug, with less force as to not hurt me, while rubbing my back soothingly.

"Talk to me baby."

"I can't."

"You can't or you don't want to?" He tosses my previous question back at me and I could almost laugh at the irony.

"I want to. I can't."

"Why? Please, why little bear?" The use of the nickname cracks me.

"I-I can't. Bad things." My head gets lighter, fuzzy. It feels familiar, but I don't like it. Not now. "Pease." I cry, begging to stop the questions.

"Shhh. Everything will be okay little bear. You can trust me, I promise." He rocks me a little, pouncing his leg. Using all the tricks to try and sooth me.

We sit again in silence, having gotten almost no where in our talk, and despite my raging emotions my eyes grow heavy. Asher was too comfortable, too warm, too nice.

He's doesn't press for more answers as my breathing depends and my eyes close for the last time, too heavy to open again.

ASH POV

I rock my baby to sleep, if this was going to be a recurring thing it would be a lot easier with a rocking chair. (A/N @LTheBattyInsomniac : getting that rocking chair there)

He's fallen asleep, and right in time for when I had scheduled in a short nap. As slowly as possible I carefully detach the boy from me and lay him down in his crib, freezing at any little sound or movement. With him down, I drape a blanket over him and pull up the side of the crib.

I sigh and run a hand over my face when it's done. What had just happened? The crying, and pouting, and attempt at being mean. The little bear just couldn't pull of a scowl, much less ugly words.

I just needed to know what the hell happened between the time he was with Olivia, to when he disappeared for five minuets. I bet that would answer all of my questions.

For now I decide to pack for the lake, incase he is feeling up to it when he wakes. A nap and food does wonders for anyone, especially a stressed little.

I get to work, being as quiet as possible. I get out a waterproof bag included in the cabin, putting in towels and changes of clothes. Diapers are the next to go in the bag, swim and regular. Floaties, sunscreen, sunglasses, and all the little items make it in.

I turn my attention onto John's wardrobe. I called for clothes this morning and a couple other baby necessities. I was excited to see the swimsuits picked out.

One of the suits in particular catches my eye. A light blue set with sleeves to keep his arms safe from the sun. It's covered in cute little panda bears, I think he'll love it. 

A/N 

also semi-short, pls don't hate me :)