tumblr girls // lrh [completed]

12

Luke's POV
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"oh fuck you." she replied bitterly.

"why are you getting so defensive! i want to be with you baby but if you actually think that we could get married anytime soon you're crazy!" i yelled, tugging at the roots of my hair.

"it's not that!" she laughed like a fucking mad woman.

"God it's not that! I just want you to look me in they eye and tell me that you WANT to marry me one day.  not that "you will if I want you to!" I don't want that!" She practically screamed.

I just stared at her. She nodded her head as if she finally understood something. she looked broken and I wanted nothing more than to kiss the heart break away but I couldn't , I saw it this time. i saw that she was actually done.

"you know what. fuck you. fuck this." she put her hands up in surrender and instead of walking out the door, she walked into the kitchen.

she grabbed my stash of weed and rolled two blunts, shoving one in my hands roughly, not looking at me. she lit them both, all I knew to do was to just smoke.

we smoked for a while and did what little amount of coke I had left, which honestly... wasn't a small amount.

we fucked and she cried. she slapped my chest and I grabbed her wrists. i pulled her into my embrace and waited for the sobbing to end.

"baby are you leaving me." i asked dejectedly as we lay on my bed.

"yes." she breathed out the smoke, not looking at me still.

"i just want our last moments to feel okay. i don't want to leave feeling like shit." she said. i hoped she would change her mind.

she dragged me to the bathroom, tears streaming down her face as she started the shower. she stripped and so did i. we climbed into the shower. and I held her. she let me hold her and she sobbed violently into my chest, i smoothed her wet hair back and she rubbed circles in my back like I used to do for her.

"your eyes remind me of stars, baby." she whispered. she found beauty in the universe.

after she had stopped sobbing she stepped back and washed my hair, biting her lip as she concentrated. she rinsed my hair out and I kissed her roughly. she let it happen for a while.

"God I feel like shit." she sobbed into my chest. I had no idea how or why she had this little epiphany, all I knew what that there was a nagging in the back of my mind telling me she was right.

"I can't feel anything." I said numbly. and it was true. i didn't feel a thing. numbness hurts more than any sadness could. i sat in the shower and she sat with me, leaning against my chest. i twirled her hair around my finger.

once she had shut off the shower and we got out, she wrapped us in a towel and buried her face in my chest again.

"why can't you stay with me baby.."

"we would never last Luke... we're both to fragile... like glass."

and I trusted her. because she was the girl who loved Chinese food every night. she was the girl who loved home makeover shows. she was the girl who woke me up by tickling me in the middle of the night, and she was the girl who sat on kitchen counters and talked about the beauty of the universe until 3 a.m.

i trusted her not because I thought she had some hidden knowledge. i trusted her because she was the girl who I loved. and I knew we wouldn't make it. like she said.

her and I were made of glass... we would never last.