scars of love

Four

We spent the day together, we lazed in the sun, lying on the grass. We shared his earphones, I listened to all his favorite music, and he told me all about his favorite artists, specifically Kurt Cobain. He became my favorite artist that day too, I agreed with everything he stood for and I loved the music he created.

He told me about his favorite things, his best memories, and I told him mine. I told him that one of the best memories I would always have was when he let me cry into his arms, and he told me that was one of his best memories too.
We chatted endlessly about everything, our conversations were either incredibly meaningful or we just spoke about nonsense that we both agreed on.

He told me how he loved the smell of rain, and the feeling of being really hot and flushed and then walking outside into the cold, refreshing air.

He told me how he loved the ocean, how he would have loved to learn to surf, how he loved skating and art, music and creativity. He told me how he hated violence and how he had never been able to kill or hurt anything, even an ant. He was a vegetarian, how he loved animals and how if he could change one thing in the world it would be to abolish all wars, for their to he world peace.

I loved listening to him talk, I could sit for hours listening to his laugh and his stories, his ideas and dreams. I told him how I could play the piano, and how I loved painting and singing and writing, listening to stories and reading, even though I hadn't done any of it in a long time.
He asked me what my dreams were, and I froze for a second. I hadn't ever thought of my dreams. I had been stuck, stuck in a world of nothingness.
I closed my eyes and tried to picture my future. All I could see was his face, and I blushed.
He told me his dream was to he happy, to live a meaningful life. I thought about it, and I realized that was exactly what I wanted, as well.

When we checked the time, it was already 3 in the afternoon.
"Shoot. I'm starved, lets go get something to eat" he said, standing up and brushing grass off of him. He held out his hand to me and helped me up. We walked to a food stall across the park, our fingers intertwined.

We bought some fries and two cokes, sitting at a table. I could go hours without eating, it wasn't like I deliberately skipped meals, I usually just forgot to eat.
But, sitting in the afternoon sun, munching fries and sipping fizzy coke, laughing with Calum, I enjoyed my meal, for the first time in ages.

"Do you want to meet my friends?" Calum asked me, sipping his coke.

I loved spending one on one time with him, but I thought I'd quite like to meet the people he grew up with.
"Sure, why not" I said, throwing a fry at him. He laughed, squinting in the sunlight.
"Great. Well, we usually meet up at this old music store, most Saturday nights. I just need to stop at home to get some money"
We threw the chip paper and empty cans into the bin, and set off out the park to Calum's place.

He had told me how he lived alone with his mum but he didn't say where. We walked a while, then took the tube.
The streets started getting dodgy, with stray dogs running everywhere, litter and plenty of street kids running around on trick boards and bicycles, homeless people sleeping in shop doorways.
I realized then what kind of lifestyle Calum lived in. I lived in the wealthier part of London, with big houses on hills and fancy avenues. He lived in the poorest side of London, the part of London my father took a detour around, the part of London he frequently swore about.
We came to a large estate of council flats. Calum looked a little embarrassed.
"Yeah.. This is it.." He said, gesturing lamely to the surroundings. I shrugged.
"So?" I said. He bit his lip. I rolled my eyes.
"Calum, I really couldn't give a monkey's ass about where you live, okay? I like you, I hope you like me, and that's all that matters" I stated, my hands on his shoulders. His lips twitched into a smile.
"I do like you, Ingrid. Very much" he said, gripping my hand.