*Alexis' pov
Shawn and I walked off the bus and stood in the only blind spot of the bus. We couldn't be seen in the mirrors or from any of the windows. I knew it was silly because they would all know eventually but I didn't want them to know until I decided and talked to Adam. "So what's up Alexis?" He asked. "Shawn call me Lexi or Lex please?" He nodded with a smile. "Okay Lexi what's going on?" I took a deep breath, "it's about being Adam's assistant." I said. He looked at me, "I thought you agreed already," he said. "Well not really I said I guess but I wasn't positive. The thing is, no one knows my past and I don't want them to think that I'll give it up because I'm a personal assistant. And well if my past does come out well then I can't stay Shawn, I won't be wanted and honestly I don't think I could handle it if it came out."
I said rambling more than I thought I would. He looked at me confused, "so what are you saying Lexi?" He asked. "I'm saying I'll do it but if my past comes up and everyone finds out you'll have to find someone else because I won't be wanted" I said simply. He nodded, "I understand but I doubt you'll be unwanted the guys love you" he said. I smiled some and we walked back to the bus. Hey guys were sitting around all eating. Adam had a bottle of water in his hands and looked up nervously when he saw me.
"I'm gonna go do my yoga, I saw a quiet, empty field a little ways away." I said looking right into Adam's eyes. "Wanna join me?" I asked quietly. He nodded and I changed into my yoga pants and flip flops and grabbed my mat, iPod and a water. Adam followed me after changing into a pair of shorts. We walked in silence over to the field. I spread out my mat and turned on my iPod starting the playlist. Adam watched curiously and followed as I did. We sat criss cross and barefoot and start our breathing exercises. As we start to move through the exercises my phone went off.
I looked at the number. "Hey Tiff" I said as I answered. Adam watch me closely not moving, not sure if he should. "No I can talk its okay I was just going to start my yoga but I'll do it after." I said. I could tell Adam was trying not to listen but was glad he was listening. I don't know why I didn't ask him to leave or why I didn't walk away but I stayed seated on my mat, Adam next to me. "Well the nightmares are still really bad, they don't seem to be lessening at all, if anything it seems like they are getting worse" I explained. I watched as Adam frowned. "Yes I know it helps to talk about them, but I can't here" I whispered and I could see Adam struggling to read my lips.
"No I'm not," I said answering her question. "Honestly I don't know Tiff if anything I should WANT to talk about all of this with them, but I can't, I'll lose them. I know they say I won't but that's because they don't know it." I said. This hurt Adam, I could see him flinch as I spoke. I hated this, I wanted to be with Adam, we've gotten the closest, aside from me and Jesse, and honestly I would love to start a relationship with him, he would clearly love it, but I was scared. I sighed, "I know Tiff, and they will but not now, after the tour I will, this shouldn't hang over them on the road." I said. She agreed and we talked for a few more minutes about touring and what was expected of me and so on.
I hung up and looked at Adam. He hadn't left while I was on the phone and I could see he was curious. "Do you promise?" He asked as I set down my phone. "Promise what?" I asked unsure. "That you'll tell us when the tour is over?" I took a deep breath. "Yes when the tour is over I promise I'll tell you all, even Shawn, but it has to be done my way on my terms" I said and he nodded agreeing. "Come on I wanna learn all of this yoga stuff! Is this like something I could do instead of hitting the gym cause I could totally get into this!" He said with a smile and I knew then, despite everything, Adam would stand by me.
We finished our entire yoga session and I stretched again. I was so achy from sleeping curled up in ball last night. "Adam?" I said softly. He was laying in the grass aching from the, as he would say, intense session. "Mhmm" he said his eyes still closed. I bit my lip and looked at him, I had to choose quickly, I shook my head and leaned down slowly and pressed my lips against his. His lips were smooth, soft, and warm and they felt so nice against mine. There was no tongue, but it was still sweet. I pulled away sitting back up.
He looked a little shocked but he had a smirk on his face, "Lex?" He questioned carefully. "I... I don't know what got into me, honestly. I mean..." I stopped realizing that's what he said last night when he tried as I stopped it before it started. He smiled. "It's okay Lex, but what now? What do you want?" He asked seriously. I stopped and thought a minute, "I don't know" I said looking at him. "Fair enough, you call the shots Lex and I will gladly follow." He said and stood up putting out his hand for me. I took it and smiled. He wrapped his arm around me, "I really care about you Alexis, I hope you know that. I know the age difference causes a problem, considering you're underage, but for the record, I'd wait for you." I blushed at his words. "I'd wait because you're worth waiting for." He said and kissed my cheek as we entered the bus.
