WRONG NUMBER ; itoshi rin x f! reader

XI. (Nice dream)

HELOOOOO, tysm for 30k reads this is crazy WHAT, also 1k votes on wattpad!!heheeeeee

special angsty chapter :3

"Sae isn't even aware of what he did to rin!!" sybau and let me write my itoshi brothers angst in peace pls💔

RADIOHEAD TITLE BTW 🔥

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     Sae slowly opened his eyes, a familiar warmth grasping his fingers. One he hadn't felt in some time. He looked down, seeing none other than his younger brother holding his hand.

It's a younger version of rin, wearing a jersey, sae observes, as those innocent teal eyes gaze up at him.

Sae hadn't seen his younger brother in some time. He's not sure what to feel. He's not sure what to say. Things have never been more awkward between them, and sae's not sure what to do.

Before he can say anything, Rin speaks up. "Ni-chan,"

It takes him by surprise, being called ni-chan so tenderly, it's been some time since Sae was called that.

"You don't want to be a striker anymore?"
The younger itoshi asks. Sae feels his heart drop for the smallest moment. That voice. Those eyes. So full of childlike innocence. So not prepared for the harsh reality of the tough competition out of Japan.

Sae sighed, shaking his head "no", and rin's expression turned sullen immediately.

What's this feeling inside his chest? This heavy, stupid feeling?

"I don't want to be a striker anymore, rin,"

Rin's frown grew more apparently, disappointment flashing in his eyes that once looked up to his brother with hope and admiration.

"Why?" He barely choked out. Sae averted his gaze, closing his eyes.

Was this a dream? It was a stupid one. Sae wanted nothing more than to wake up.

He's not sure if it's because he can't bear to see the look of disappointment on rin's face. He's not sure if it's because he can't bear the look of disappointment that's started to form on his face. Not towards Rin. Towards himself.

But he wants to stay in this tender moment with his brother for a while longer. It's been some time.

"It's hard to explain, rin."

He knows he should tell his younger brother that he's not on par with the rest of the world. Like he did that one night. Rin once looked up to him so much. But at this very moment, sae felt nothing but disappointment coming from Rin.

Disappointment.

"Oh.." Rin murmured weakly. "Will I ever be able to play with you again?"

"Of course," Sae says, "you're my little brother." Those words feel foreign, coming out of his own tongue, but sae doesn't mind. Sae doesn't mind at all.

"But. You won't be a striker anymore. We were going to be strikers together, ni-chan. The world's best. You said it." Oh gosh. Rin's small voice was leaking with sorrow. Sae moves his gaze back to his brother. And he notices, he notices Rin can't even look at him anymore.

Where did it all go wrong?

Sae only wanted to warn Rin. Sae only wanted his brother not to go through the same trouble and disappointment he had to go through. Sae only wanted Rin not to be crushed by the pressure of competing with the world's best. Sae only wanted for Rin not to feel as embarassed as he once did.

And now, he's not sure how to reply to Rin's statement. He wants to say it, he opens his mouth, the words won't come out. No matter how hard he tries. It won't come out. "Rin.."  He barely chokes out.

But Rin takes a few steps back. "No, you're not my ni-chan."

He watches as Rin tugs on another boy's arm. It's sae himself, but younger.

Younger and untainted by the harsh realities of the world. "Rin? What happened?" The younger sae asks.

"This guy! He doesn't.. He doesn't want to be a striker anymore. This isn't my ni-chan!"

Oh gosh. Sae feels this crushing feeling inside his chest. It felt so heavy.

The younger sae gazes at his older self with disappointment. "How pathetic."

Sae scoffs. They wouldn't get it. They're childish. They didn't have to face the world like he had to. They didn't have to deal with the feeling of being so mediocre at something he once thought he was the best at.

"You disappointed not only your younger brother, but yourself." The younger sae says.

And just then, Sae feels himself wake up.

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      It was stupid, sae knows. A stupid dream that held no meaning. It wasn't true. Rin didn't feel that way towards him, did he? Sae had never felt more estranged from his younger brother.

And all because of a stupid dream.

He opens his phone, reading the last texts he had with his younger brother. Hah. He really said some words he shouldn't have. But it's a little too late, isn't it? A little too late, considering he's already blocked by Rin.

Sae is just confused now.

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