Fuck it. (Creeypasta/Others/Humor)

Not An Awkward Couple At All..

AUDREY P.O.V

So all of us were done with our introductions. I was currently watching a sex tape Kasel recorded for me. I grabbed some of Laughing Jacks left over candy and handed it to her as a reward. She glared at the candy. "Is that freaking pubic hair?" She questioned. I nodded, awing at BEN and Jeff thrusting into eachother, while eating the funyons I stole. "EWIE!" She yelled,  backing away from the candy.

KASEL P.O.V 

I backed away from the unsanitary candy that laid in front of me. "EWIE!" I yelled. I got up and ran inside the kitchen, to see that BEN and Jeff had finished their "time" together. Oh gosh, this is going to be awkwar-- "OH HEY~" Jeff smirked. 

"Uh.." I said, feeling more awkward around BEN because his freaking cum was in my MOUTH!! Luckily he wasn't facing me. I began backing away. Mr. Smiley here HAD to decide to grab my wrist and pull me towards them. He forced me to sit down. "DAMMIT! Whyy!!" I complained.

"Come on now, you never told us your name, now did you?" Jeff explained. He dug into a buffalo wing him and BEN were eating. "Want some?" He asked. I wanted to decline, but I was hungry as hell. I nodded and took a wing, dipping it in the ranch and stuffing it in my face. The bone threw itself in the trash (o.o) 

BEN turned towards me and started blushing intensely. ANIME BLUSHIES EVERYWHERE DAMMIT!! I looked at him, my facial expression saying 'The fuck you blushing about?' Then Jeff noticed us staring and started chuckling and laughing. Now I was freaked out. "WHAT IS MAKING YOU BLUSH BEN! AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING JEFF!!" I yelled.

Jeff randomly grabbed a mirror and reflected it in front of me. Ranch sauce was smeared ALL OVER around my mouth and lips. It even started dripping downward to my chin. I knew what they were referring too. "AHHH, AUDREY THERES SPERM ON MY FACE EVEN THOUGH ITS RANCH!!" I yelled running to audrey, trying to wipe the ranch off my lips.

SARAH P.O.V

"DAMMIT OFFENDER, LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed, smacking his lingering tentacles away from me. He keeps on bothering me!! He wants me to sign a contract or whatever to be his sex toy. I. AM. NOT. ANASTASIA. 

"Ohh darling, if you keep on touching my tentacles, they'll get more excited. You do know they're sensitive, right?" He said, stepping closer to me.

"EW!" I yelled, snatching my hands away from his tentacles. "Just get away from you SLIMY and FOUL creature!!" He tilted his faceless head, still walking closer to me. He seemed to be enjoying my struggles. 

"Your so beautiful, I'd love to have your scratch marks against my bare back." He said. I swear if he even had a face, he'd be smirking. Good thing he doesn't a face though, that'd be disgusting if he smirked. 

AUDREY P.O.V 

I just finished watching the video for the third time. I would've watched it five times by now but Kasel was pestering me about.. Ranch?  I was about to watch it again when-"THERE YOU ARE!!" I look up to see Eyeless Jack pointing at me. I choked up a laughed seeing he still had some banana mush stuck on his mask. 

"Damn, I thought you died cause I NUKED YOU!" I playfully yelled. Dang he looked serious tho. "Uhm.." I looked around for a way OUT of being murdered today. Then I spotted his phone in his pocket. He was listening to"Uma Thurman" from Fall Out Boy. 

I pointed at Kasel, which made her look at me like 'Whut o.o' (Kasel, Audrey regrets doing this. *COUGH* Sarcasm.) "Why are you pointin--" She started but I cut her off. 

"SHE WANTS TO DANCE LIKE UMA THURMAN~" I said in a sing-song voice. His eyes averted to Kasel. She started freaking out. 

"Bury her 'till she'll confess.." He continued and lifted Kasel, throwing her over his shoulder. He grabbed a shovel and started heading for the door. 

"WHAT THE FUU--" She was cut off by the door shutting close. What did I just do?

"Whoops.." I said. "Smile, 'ya might wanna go.. You know.. dig her up." I said to Smile Dog. He obeyed and ran out the door.I pressed my ear against the door. 

"AHH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Kasel yelled.

"May nothing but death. do. us. part." Eyeless jack sung. 

"FUCK YOU, SICKO! SOMEONE HALP D;" She screamed.

"What the fuck is going on here!" Jeffs laughing voice entered the conversation. "Why are you in a hole?"

"WHO CARES GET ME OUT!" Kasel pleaded. 

"Nah. You wanted to dance like Uma Thurman and I can't get you outa of your hole.~" He chuckled, parodying the lyrics.

 After some time, Smile came back inside, his paws dirtied with dirt. Soon after, Kasel followed. She was COVERED in dirt. It was in her hair, on her face, clothes, and shoes. It even was coming out of her nose and mouth. I couldn't help but laugh.

Y/N P.O.V

I finally find the other gurls again. Maybe it was a bad idea even looking for them.. Kasel was being buried in a hole, Sarah was trying to escape from Offender. Audrey was pressing her ear against the front door like a weirdo. (Dur, shes a fabulous weirdo so its normal!~) I backed up but I bumped into someone.

It was my boyfriend, the rake. "Oh hey babe!" I smiled hugging him. He looked nervous, I wonder whats up. He dragged me in the middle of the commotion. Kasel was covered in dirt, and Audrey was laughing at her. Sarah was yelling for help because offender was WAY too close. 

"EVERYONE GATHER AROUND, I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL TO DO AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH." He said, making everyone stop what they were doing and look at us. We were in the center of EVERYONE. He dropped down to one knee. No.. Was he? 

"Y/N, for some reason, you've attracted me from the start. I love you, will you marry me?" He said in his sketchy voice. Tears brimmed my eyes, as I smile broke throughout my lips. "YES!! O.M.G OF COURSE YA, YES!!" I yelled colliding my lips with his. His tongue explored my face, going up my nose. I moaned. Gagging noises could be heard throughout the room. 

"Ew." Kasel and Audrey said.

We ignored them and continued kissing. His tongue came out of my ear, then retracted back. He took his tongue out of my nose and slid it inside of my mouth. "Mmm babe." I moaned as we made a slapping noise while kissing. I could hear Sarah hurling in the background. (She finally let loose. XD)

My eyes looked upwards to see someone walk inside the room. WOAH! Damn hes hot!! He was a handsome hedgehog character, with the perfect pleasuring stick. (SHE COULD SEE HIS DICK CAUSE HE WEARS NO PANTS) I remember him from somewhere, Oh! He's Sexy Sonic.exe. I need HIM. I pulled away from the rake. 

"On second thought.. No."