When it came to women, Spandam was a loser. I knew that, the other agents knew that, pretty much everybody who knew Spandam knew that he couldn't pick up chicks for the life of him. That's why we were all surprised when he came home with the announcement that he got a date for tomorrow night.
"That's right everyone, I've got a date!" Spandam said proudly.
"Cool, now you finally have someone who can listen to you whine about your man panties all the time" Kalifa said smugly.
"Oh you're just jealous you missed your chance to get with this!" Spandam replied as he started moving his hips from side to side seductively. I was trying hard not to laugh, but seeing Spandam make an ass out of himself was hilarious.
"Chief, that's sexual harassment "said Kalifa, and with that, she gave him a hard slap on the face.
"Hey, you're the one who commented on my underwear!" Spandam retorted, "And anyways, I'll have you know, I'm taking her out to dinner at a fancy restaurant!"
"A.k.a., McDonalds" Fukurou muttered.
"SHUT UP!!" Spandam roared, and with that he stormed out of the room muttering curse words under his breath.
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The next day, Spandam spent all day trying to find the perfect outfit to wear for his date. He searched through his closet, pawing through piles of clothing, with not much luck. Eventually, he settled on a light blue dress shirt and a black pair of pants. He borrowed one of Bueno's ties, and polished his head gear until it sparkled. He then had Kaku pick up flowers and a box of chocolates, since the others would have eaten them all. After that, he was ready to go.
It was around eleven thirty when Spandam returned that night. The other agents went to bed earlier, but I stayed up just so I could see the "lucky" lady. I crouched down when I heard the door open. I heard not one but two pairs of footsteps enter the building, I poked my head up and saw a woman's figure standing with Spandam.
"I had a great time tonight, Spandam, I hope we can go out again" the woman crooned softly.
"Indeed we shall," Spandam murmured, and with that the two kissed passionately. I noticed the woman's hand creep slowy towards Spandam's butt. She carefully placed her hand in Spandam's back pocket, and without him knowing, swiped his wallet.
"Wow Spandam" I thought "you really can't win."
YOU ARE READING
Tales From CP9
FanfictionShouko Henderson is a retired CP9 agent retelling stories about the best and worst moments of her life as a CP9 agent. How will the gang react to seeing Dumb and Dumber? Will Spandam get a girlfriend? All of this, and more will be revealed. Disclai...
