bittersweet ❀ destiel

Chapter 5

Dean's POV
One week later

"Cas? You home?" I called as I walked through the front door of our house. I needed to get started on the new book I planned on writing, but I also needed to eat. So I needed to know if he was going to cook, or if we were going to order something out.

"Yeah?" He called as he skipped down the stairs, and then strutted towards me, planting a chaste quick on my lips.

"How'd it go today?" He asked, helping me out of my jacket. I sighed and rolled my shoulders before meeting his eyes.

"Yeah, it went good. My publisher totally thinks I should go through with this book." I said excitedly, and he kissed me again, only longer than before.

"That's great." He smiled.

"So, are you cooking? Or should I order a pizza?" I offered, walking into the kitchen and pulling out a beer. He followed me into the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

"Let's order a pizza."

I nodded quickly, taking a swig of my beer. I had absolutely no problem ordering pizza. Pizza was the absolute love of my life, except for Cas of course.

"Will you go get twenty bucks out of my safe? I don't have any cash on me." I mumbled, fishing through my wallet for some money. I spent the rest of what I had on me on a soda at the store earlier. Cas seemed to clam up immediately, and I gave him a worried expression.

"You alright?" I asked, moving closer to him. He bit his lip, and looked down.

"I'm sorry Dean, I knew I shouldn't of.. It's just, it was so perfect!" He rushed out, and I placed my hands flat on his shoulders, still confused.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. He looked down again, avoiding my gaze at all costs.

"I uh, I bought a guitar this morning.. And I used your money." He whispered, moving his head a little bit so he was looking to the left.

My hands dropped immediately, and my mood changed from happy to fucking pissed in seconds. It was actually pretty funny how fast my mood could change, but leave it to Cas to make that happen.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I shouted, causing him to wince.

"I'm sorry." He repeated. I glared at him for the longest time, trying to find the words to say to this man. All the money that I had was in that safe, and he just fucking spent for a stupid guitar. I was beyond angry.

"Sorry? Oh my god, Cas. You don't just go spending people's money! You're so fucking stupid sometimes!" I groaned, running my hand through my hair over and over again. It was a habit of mine.

"You know Dean, I am so sick of you calling me stupid every time you're upset." He retorted, and I couldn't help but laugh at his complete and utter stupidity.

"Then stop being so fucking stupid all the time!" I shouted, slamming my fist against the counter, causing him to jump.

"You always get like this Dean. I am so sick of you getting angry for the stupidest things, and then lashing out on me like this!" He whined.

"Cas, this isn't something stupid! I have 500 dollars in that safe! That was my money! You dick.." I groaned.

"You are so overreacting, Dean." He rolled his eyes, and then turned around to walk up the stairs and no, there was no way in hell he was getting the last word in this. Absolutely no way.

I stomped after him, following him into his studio where I saw the new guitar, propped against the closet door. All anger aside, it was a really nice guitar. That didn't matter though, because that guitar shouldn't have been purchased in the first place.

"Oh so now you're going to follow me? Do you want to fight?" He snapped, placing his hands on his hips.

"No! But there's no way in hell I'm gonna let you get away with this!" I retorted, causing him to chuckle bitterly.

"Leave me alone." He snapped, and that caused me to snap. I groaned in frustration before eyeing the guitar again. I'll show him.

"Is that the stupid fucking guitar you spent my money on?" I sneered, and he glanced between me and the guitar knowingly. A look of panic washed over him.

"Dean. Don't." He said sternly, but I ignored him. I began to walk over to the guitar at a quick pace, and when I went to reach for it, he jumped in front of me. I of course wasn't thinking at all, and just shoved him out of reflex, and watched as he tumbled backwards, trying to catch his balance but failing miserably, landing on his back.

I ignored his cry in pain, and picked up the guitar, gripping it tightly in my hands.

"This," I said, raising the guitar a little higher, "is trash." I spat, and then proceeded to smash it against the floor, watching as his eyes widened.

A few seconds later, I dropped the smashed guitar, then glanced at him. He had a few tears in his eyes, and even though I felt like a horrible person, he deserved it. After all, it was my money.

"I hate you!" He shouted, wiping at his eyes.

"Whatever." I snapped. "I'm going out."

He laughed bitterly, still sitting on the floor. "Didn't expect you to do anything else." He mumbled honestly, and then I stormed out.

-

"Hey, Amara?" I asked as soon as someone answered.

"Yeah, who's this?" A woman's voice responded.

"It's Dean, from last week. I was just wondering, are you uh, you busy?" I asked awkwardly. Relief spread through my body as I heard her giggle.

"Come over." She said simply, and hell, she didn't have to tell me twice.

-

I knocked on the door rapidly, beginning to become impatient. I needed to take my anger out somewhere, on someone, and sex seemed like the best way to do it. I didn't care that I was sober enough to know what I was doing, and I didn't care that I was cheating on Cas again, but come on. I already screwed up once, what would one more time hurt?

She answered the door with a huge smile on her face, and I didn't waste anytime welcoming myself into the apartment, slamming our lips together. This wasn't like last time. This time I was pissed.

She groaned into my mouth, but kissed me back anyways, seeming to not mind the roughness.

I kicked the door shut with my foot, not daring to pull away from her. In all honesty, I was terrified that if I pulled away and looked at her, it would hit me that this was so wrong, and that I was making a huge mistake, but I didn't want to do that. I wanted this. I needed this. I needed her.

"Dean." She whispered against my mouth, trying to catch her breath, but I wouldn't let her. I needed to keep kissing her, so that's what I kept doing. I backed us up until I found the way to her bedroom, and welcomed myself in there too. Once we were in there, she somehow managed to pull away long enough to speak.

"Dean..." She tried, but I cut her off.

"Need you. Now." I gasped, and that seemed like a decent enough explanation to her because she didn't try to talk again, and just gave me what I wanted.