How does it feel to fall in love with the person you can't have?
It feels like the drop in a rollercoaster but the drop goes on forever and so do the butterflies in your stomach. You are excited that you will reach the end and feel a bliss of joy and relief, but these butterflies don't end. These butterflies aren't from the love the person makes you feel but they are from the anxiety and nervousness the person makes you feel. At one point you do realise that you're just falling into an endless pit. You know that this "love" is toxic. But you can't stop.
You get numb to the 'exciting' feeling. The numbness now takes over your body. Your body that has millions of scars because of your "lover", the same body that was always in pain is now floating peacefully. The numbness takes over your soul. A soul that once yearned to live life to the fullest is now numb to life. The numbness takes over your mind. The mind that was once full of thoughts of being together is now just accepting fate and slowly the thoughts are dying. The numbness finally takes over your heart. The heart that used to beat as fast as it could when it heard your "lover's" name now just beats normally, it's probably used to hearing his name every day. All this numbness doesn't free the butterflies that are caged in your stomach, still for the same reason; anxiety and nervousness.
You're hopeful that this rollercoaster will come to an end and you will finally feel the joy and bliss you have always been waiting for. Yet you can't stop loving that person. You now fall deeper and deeper into the drop. You probably lost your old self on the top of the rollercoaster; you can always choose to go back but now you're in too deep. Only you can save yourself but you choose not to. You choose to feel the numbness and the butterflies by loving that person. You are now dropping down fast into the abyss.
If only you jumped off the rollercoaster you would realise that the joyous and blissful end was always right next to you. Jump. Wake up. Stop riding this rollercoaster. Jump off.
This is how you are trapped in an "exciting" ride of death.
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All The Words I Couldn't Say
PoetryPoetry Book Poetry is what in a poem makes you laugh, cry, prickle, be silent, makes your toenails twinkle, makes you want to do this or that or nothing, makes you know that you are alone in the unknown world, that your bliss and suffering are forev...
