Abyss - Book Five of the Alpha Series - MxM

Chapter 33 (M)

The tremble begins in my hand as ice charges my fingertips, yet I refuse to let him see how he was getting to me. "Please don't act like I don't think about those men every damn minute of the day. We can't live our lives in constant regret. I know that you think it's silly and irresponsible, but... Would you even listen to me if I explained? If you had given me the opportunity, I would have told you everything behind my reasoning, but instead, you decided to be a complete jerk! Publicly, of course!

I'm telling you that we need these people to like us, to like me. I can't be the one who says no to everything; they don't have the same reasoning that we do. They don't understand-"

"They are not my concern. I do not care what they think of me, Nic. You are all I care about. My job is to keep you safe, and I can't do that here." Verando insists, crossing the space to me, he takes my hand in his. Bringing my knuckles up to his lips, he kisses the backs of my fingers.

His body feels like an inferno; the wolf is just beneath the surface, yet his tone had changed once again. He was pleading with me now, begging me to see his reasoning. My mind retracts, and yet my body responds against my will, and I shake my head, forcing the wolf back out of my mind.

"Don't-" I move to twist my hand out of his, and he releases me, only to take my hip to guide me back against him. With a grunt at the impact, I grit my teeth as his mouth hovers over mine. "I know in your mind I'm being a brat.. I understand that this is a disgusting request. But Randy, I can't do this without the political support; you can't protect me from everything, and political unrest is a massive concern. There are things you have superior knowledge in, but on this, you need to trust me."

His silence is almost a relief, his eyes search mine, and before I know it, my back is against the wall, and the space between us narrows as I swallow back my desire for him. The tension in my stomach twists, the influence of the wolf was maddening, and all of a sudden, all I can think of is his lips on mine.

Would it always be like this? 

Would I live in emotional whiplash for the rest of my life? 

My heart pounds in my chest, the scent of him filling my nose, and instinctively, my thigh slips between his legs despite how I want to pull away. We couldn't keep negotiating this way, no matter how much I wanted to take my frustrations out on him. 

"We need Anuetta to be on our side when we go to France, or we will not be allowed to go back home. So we need to keep her happy, we need to look like I am the most attractive option, because if she turns on us, we will be hanged when we get to France. She could be leading us straight to the fire, Randy."

Setting his jaw, Verando places his fist over my head, leaning onto his elbow to loom over me as he captures my chin. "It's foolish to think buying Anuetta things is going to make her like you. If she turns on us, it's because she thinks that's her safest bet. There is no loyalty with that woman."

I manage a weak laugh, placing my hand on his chest to create some distance and clear my head. Much as I found him mouth-watering, his logic was flawed.

"She's bonding to Haryek, there is more at stake here than just her favor. Anuetta likes you, she just has to think that I'm capable of being entertaining. Frankly, if I were willing to let her take you to bed, we'd never have another ounce of concern out of her. She's practically salivating-" 

His hand dives between us, groping me through my pants as a snarl rumbles in his throat. 

"If you don't like the comparison, then don't allow her to put her hands on what belongs to me." I retort shortly, his response is a glower that makes my pulse quicken. "I've got to put a wedge there, if she and Haryek pick a side and we aren't on it, my country is doomed. We will be killed, don't pretend as if you don't already know that."