Abyss - Book Five of the Alpha Series - MxM

Chapter 18

(Verando's POV)

While improvements had been made on his ability to control the wolf since his conversation with Natassa, it still remained its own entity with its own opinion. The wolf was still of Nordic descent, and the promise of Valhalla loomed in the distance. 

Allowing another to take on the position of Alpha was more difficult than he had thought it would be, a title he had longed to part with since he'd been bestowed it. Surrendering it to Tonic felt like admitting that he was no longer what he once was. Self-pity was a flaw he had tried to crush down for so long, a fatal weakness that he had stripped from this carefully calculated persona. 

It managed to find him in his lowest moments. 

Reality weighs on him like the universe on his chest, facts feel crushing, and the only remedy is to stay outside, where at least the fresh air can remind him that the world is vast. It can't possibly focus on one solitary being; only, the air here is heavy with the spoils of humanity. Torn between two mental states, he battled with the unreasonable rage at the lack of respect from his offspring and the horrid realization that this part of his life was slowly coming to a close. 

What would he be, if not this? Who could he be? 

"Can we talk?" Tonic cautiously approaches the older man, stepping purposefully so as not to invoke a violent response. "I'm surprised you're not out hunting, honestly. I didn't expect to find you out here."

Darkness can always be blocked out by rage; the heat runs through him as the wolf steps into the light with a more welcoming option than self-destruction.

 Anger is easy; when he was angry, people tended to leave him alone. 

When he was alone, he could feel however he wanted, with no explanation or justification required. "You know as well as I do that human stench scares any game away."

It made the younger male smile; at least the warlord was speaking to him. That's a start. 

"I had to say what I said. You can't keep doing this, you can't keep jumping in the second someone needs a body to fight some war. I think, in this case, they do need you, but you need to learn to bow out."

 The light eyes lock on him, and Tonic returns the look with his expression of determination, a mirror of his younger self. 

"I have known you almost my entire life, that look doesn't scare me anymore." 

It cools the embers of resentment, replacing them with an endearment that he has always felt for this confusing child. After a long moment, when it appears to be safe, Tonic sits beside the older man, and they collectively sigh. 

There was a time when the light-eyed male was the idol of the younger man, the picture of all that was just and right, only to be brought down with the harsh reality that heroes can't live up to the expectations of the naive. What remained of their relationship was strained and broken, never quite healed, despite their attempts to make amends.

Tonic rests his elbows on his knees, taking in the calm night air as he folds his arms across his chest. 

"I can't let you do this," Verando tells him. "You're not ready." 

Tonic shakes his head, taking a deep breath.

"You know, I have tried so hard not to become you. I did everything I could, I ran away, I hid, I let my friends and family die horrible deaths so I could stay as far away from this path as I could. When I thought you were dead and they told me you had picked me for the Alpha, I don't think I could have resented you any more than I did at that moment."