A Bittersweet Kind of Love

Chapter 26

Michael

The funeral was too much for me. It was in a church she never talked about and there were so many people there she never spoke of. Her parents were there with her sisters, the people who turned their backs on her time and time again. They sat in the front, crying and holding each other. I sat next to my mother, who never even got the chance to meet her, in the front as well but on the opposite side from them. I didn't want to be with her family. I was angry with them just as much as they probably were angry with me.

I wore a suit that I had specially made for the dark day. It was all black and I wore a white band around my left arm that had her name imprinted on it. My Ariella.

My sunglasses hid the pain in my eyes. I had been getting no sleep and crying ever since I went to her house and saw the paramedics rushing her to the hospital. There, I had waited and waited for them to come out and tell me she was okay. But when the doctor came out and placed his hand on my shoulder, my knees failed me and I collapsed to the floor and broke down.

Why did God take her away from me? I just can't understand it. I'm angry and for the first time I don't know how to forgive. She loved me for me and was going to marry me, have my children, and be my forever. She was the love of my life.

I wish I would've taken things slower with her. Maybe we rushed it but I couldn't help it and neither could she. We were in love. I don't know how I'm supposed to live with this pain in my heart. How am I supposed to go on when my other half is not here with me? We did not know each other for that long I understand, only a year and some months but it doesn't take that long for your heart to tell you that you've found the right one and that you're happy.

A part of me blames myself, the other part Leila. Leila hurt me so many times before I didn't understand why she couldn't just let me be happy. It's hard to swallow the fact that I spent so many years of my life married to a monster who would win in the end and break me completely. She took away my happiness.

I kept Kayah in the dark for the most part. I don't understand who told Leila the truth and I don't understand who even told her she was home and where she lived. I had so much on my mind as the choir sang. Memories overflowed. I specifically thought back to when she first came to Neverland and I sang to her. The words kept repeating in my mind.

Oh I believe you and I

Could never really say goodbye

Wherever you may be

I'll look up and see

Someone in the dark for me.

I looked up and my tears ran back on my face. As the piano began playing a tune, it created an aching pain in my heart. I threw my face in my hands and my mother held me and let my cry on her shoulder. Lying there, I opened my eyes and stared at the picture of Arielle. Her casket was opened but I couldn't look. People were taking turns walking up to her to say their final goodbyes.

"Michael, let's go." My mother wanted me to go up there but I was scared. I wasn't ready to say goodbye but she said I would later regret not going. "Come on." She grabbed my hand and held me up. My sister Rebbie was on the other side. I was so weak.

We walked up to the casket that I specially purchased for her. Her family actually didn't pay a dime for any of this. I took care of everything. I was happy Arielle looked beautiful and like herself. I knew I could count on my make-up artist Karen to make her look perfect. I couldn't smile though.

I touched Arielle's lifeless hand and kneeled to her and kissed her cheek. "I love you," I whispered in her ear. Some may call it silly but I pulled the old piece of bubblegum I gave her years ago out of my pocket. She treasured this so with a bracelet of mine I wanted her to have, I put them both under her hand and I kissed her again. Instead of walking back to my seat, I shook my head 'no' to my mother and sister. "I can't do this anymore. I want to leave."

"Michael, you should really stay," my sister said to me while she rubbed my back.

I just couldn't though. I didn't want to see Arielle like this anymore. "Please get me out of here."

"Okay, okay."

I walked out of the church, not caring who had what to say about me. I wanted to remember My Love smiling and laughing, not like this. This was too much for me to handle.

When home, for hours I stayed locked in my room. I didn't change. I just lied on my bed crying and holding her obituary.

...

I can't believe, still, that she's gone. I don't know how to explain this to our unborn child or if I even should. I know she's not the biological mother but that doesn't matter. She is their mother and I know she was going to be a great one.

I'm so sick. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I don't talk. I'm like a zombie. I won't let anyone be here for me. I keep pushing them away. I don't know how to face my fans. The whole world knows what Leila did and everyone has their own opinion. I don't want to know what their opinions are though. I just want to turn back time and have my Ariella back here with me again.

So my last words for her would be...I love you with all my heart. I will forever cherish what we had and I will never forget you. Thank you for showing me what true love is all about and...I'll never really ever be able to say goodbye to you but I know you're in a better place and you're at peace. I one day will be at peace with you but for now I must go on without you. I don't know exactly how I will do this but I know you'll always be in my heart and you will always guide me with your love.

Always look over me and I know I'm never really going to be alone for now you are truly My Angel.

The End🥀