Couldn't Stop Caring || Bellarke

Ten.

Unfortunately, arriving at Arkadia was not as easy as Clarke hoped it might be. It was harder than she imagined for them to settle into their new life. Clarke wasn't a leader anymore, and she found it more difficult than she thought it would be to let go of that role and settle into life as just another camper. She wasn't the only one struggling, either. Bellamy was more on edge than ever. He'd been recruited into the guard station almost instantly, and while he was grateful for having a purpose, he struggled to take orders rather than give them. 

They'd spent so long leading, that they both forgot how to follow. 

They were given a private living space, thanks to their marriage, so that was one thing they managed to get used to quickly. They'd even had their marriage officiated by Kane, something they did with their closest friends and Abby present. They didn't bother with a party this time, since it was mostly just signing a marriage declaration, but it was something both Clarke and Bellamy wanted. 

However, just days into their new life, Bellamy and Clarke began to fall back into their old habits. He began to hover more, and she argued with him over it. Instead of relaxing and embracing their new home, Clarke was stressed, tensed, and completely exhausted. Bellamy was tense, surly, and distant. She spent more time in the medical bay with her mom, and Bellamy spent as much time as he could training with the guards. Any time they did spend together was usually spent exchanging brief, quiet conversations, or fighting. 

Clarke couldn't understand how this had happened to them. After her conversation with Bellamy in the forest, she was certain that they'd be happier than ever. But they weren't. Something was keeping them at arms length with each other, both of them there but neither one completely present. They still spent time with their friends, they ate meals together, and they shared the same bed every night. But that toxicity Clarke feared was slowly beginning to creep back into their relationship, and she hated it. 

One day, Clarke walked into the canteen around dinner time, searching for any of her friends. Instead, she found Eric sitting alone at the back of the room. She watched him for a moment, remembering how he'd attacked her back at their old camp. That was the last time she'd been alone with him. Even though it was only a matter of months ago, it felt like a lifetime. She glanced around the room again, and when she was certain none of her friends, or Bellamy, was around, she headed over to Eric's table. 

"Hey, Eric," Clarke greeted with a smile. 

Eric looked up sharply. "Clarke, hey!" He grinned. He gestured to the seat opposite him, and Clarke hesitated before dropping into the chair. She was just catching up with an old friend. She wasn't doing anything wrong. "How have you been?" Eric asked. 

"I'm good," Clarke nodded. "How about you?" 

"Can't complain," Eric shrugged. "How's the little one? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages." 

"I know, I'm sorry about that," Clarke sighed. "Everything's good with the baby. Thank you for asking." 

"How you finding life on the ark? I bet it's weird not being in charge anymore?" Eric chuckled. 

Clarke nodded, a breath of laughter slipping out. "Yeah, it's taking some getting used to." 

"Well, for what it's worth, you were a damn better leader than Jaha," Eric shrugged. 

"Thanks," Clarke chuckled. "But, it wasn't just me. Bellamy did a lot, too." 

"Eh," Eric shrugged again. "He had his moments, I guess." 

Clarke watched him carefully. Bellamy and Eric had mostly avoided each other since the incident in the medical hut. Bellamy didn't trust Eric, and Eric still held resentment towards Bellamy for attacking him when he was injured.