The Horror Of Love (AU)

Chapter 5

I couldn't stop thinking about Liam, I had never seen a pair of eyes quite like those deep orbs of chocolate before. Everything seemed to remind me of him. I couldn't get him out of my mind and it was starting to scare me a bit. I decided a night of getting drunk would be enoughto get me to stop, I have no idea what kind of logic I was using at this point but all I wanted was to think about something other then Him for at least five seconds. Yes I had gone back to calling him  Him. 

To Hazzabear: Hey wanna go for a drink? Xx

While I was waiting for a reply I decided to get dressed or at least figure out what I was going to wear. I decided on a nice dark red dress that ended jut before my knee. It was strapless with a deep V, one of my favorites. 

From Hazzabear: Sure. Shall I invite the boys and girls along as well? Xx

To Hazzabear: Yeah. We'll make it a party! lol :) Xx

I just couldn't wait to get completely smashed as to where I couldn't even remember my name. 

 From Hazzabear: Alright everyone's coming. Tavern right? Xx

To Hazzabear: Aha you know me so well. Love ya! See you soon! Xx

I then proceed to get dressed and ready for a night of drinking and most likely snogging a bunch of random guys. No I was not a slut, I hadn't had sex with anyone. Ever. But every once in a while I would snog a couple of guys to get my mind off of something. Like tonight. I sighed looking though my jewlery box for something to add on to my outfit. I visibly flinched when I came across one of the necklaces that He had given me. I shuddered. I remember when I used to walk around wearing that necklace wrapped around my neck perfectly aas if it was made for me, which it was. 

____________________________________FLASHBACK___________________________________

"I got this just for you." HE whispered in my ear as he clasped the necklace around my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut. I never liked it when HE was around, I always felt nervous and uneasy. The way HE always looked at me and licked his lips as if I was some kind of food.

"T-thanks." I mumbled. I knew if I didn't answer it would make things worse for me later, when HE took me into The Special Room, that I was supposed to tell no one that I'd been in there. I would be punished for being cold and unresponsive. I knew I better cooperate because if I didn't it would always get worse. 

"Good girl." A shiver ran down my back. I knew that tone, that was my signal to be on my way to The Special Room. I turned and headed toward the big cream coloured double doors. "Be good now. No screaming like last time, or it will be worse." I nodded the tears already beginning to pool in my eyes. Even at my Twelve year old state I knew this was wrong. I knew I should tell someone. I knew no one would blame me like  HE said they would. Because it wasn't my fault. I knew all this but I also knew that no one payed attention to me. That no one listened so intently about my day like HE did. I knew that if I told anyone about the Special Time that would all be lost. I would never see anyone's eyes light as soon as I walked into a room. Or care so much about how much I really really wanted to be a teacher when I grew up. I was just the background. That was all I ever was except when I was with  HIM. I was tired of going along with whatever everyone else wanted. I was tired of being just background noises to everyone else. And with  HIM  it wasn't like that.  I  was the only  one in HIS eyes. And that was all I ever wanted. All I ever needed.

____________________________________________FLASHBACK OVER__________________________________________

I shook my head as if to shake away those thoughts. Tonight was about ME and I was not to think of HIM or Him at all tonight. And with that thought I put the necklace down, grabbed my purse and jacket, and ran out of the house.

*A/N: So this chapter is short and well I didn't know what to put for this chapter it's kind of a filler but I wanted to talk a little about her past and I also diodn't want to just go ahead and have just be at the bar......... So this happened........ Oh yeah and Him is Liam and HIM is a completely different person, just so we're all on the same page. But Anywhore....... I'm just bored and hating Wattpad because the other night I was writing a chapter to this other story (That I may post soon??? I really don't know) and I went to my Pandora for like a minute trying to decide what radio I wanted to listen to and my progress was just fucking gone!!!! Like seriously WTF!!!!!! Ugh but yeah. BYE SPARKLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*