Self Destruction Is Such A Pretty Little Thing // Brusnop

I missed you

I stumbled out of Cam's car, a half full bottle in my hand.

"You sure you're fine mate?" He yelled out the window. I mumbled something and waved behind me. I stood in the front yard swirling the last drink around in the bottom of the bottle. "This one's for you benny." I slurred, pouring into my mouth. I've missed him so much since I left the hospital. It hurt. I tried not to show my emotions to Andy or the guys, and pushed them back with alcohol. I began feel dizzy and squeezed my eyes shut, sitting down in the grass. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Danny.." Andy knelt down beside me and brushed my hair off my face. "Are you okay? You've seemed off the past few weeks...I'm worried about you." He placed a small kiss on my cheek. I nodded for a few moments then stopped. "No. I'm not okay." I let a few tears slip down my cheek, when he pulled me into a hug.

"I-I love you Andy. I really do. But I just-" He finished my sentence.

"You want Ben.." He whispered. I could hear his voice trembling. "I understand.."

"Y-you do..?" I pulled away to look at him. He had tears building in his eyes and nodded unsure. I crushed my lips against his, and wiped his tears away. I pulled away to see that more tears had built up. I started to stand up, holding his hand in mine until I couldn't reach it anymore.

"I'll be home soon, so dry your eyes."I shot him a smile and ran to my car. It probably wasn't the best idea to drive being drunk as fuck, but I need to get to Ben. I got in, took a deep breathe, and started the car. Driving back to Belleville, New Jersey. Where I last saw him.

I got to the hospital and ran in without hesitating. I stood in at the front desk, facing a woman typing away on a computer. I let out a fake cough to catch her attention and her head shot up.

"Oh, sorry. Is there something I can help you with." She smiled at me and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, uh, I'm looking for Benjamin Bruce?" She looked back at the computer and typed something.

"Um, looks like you're a little late on that. He checked out almost a month ago." I sighed, turning to walk away.

"Wait!!" She stopped me. "We called him the other day to ask him about his prescription, and he told us he was staying in the area." I turned back to face her.

"I need an address." I said as sternly as possible.

"I'm sorry. I can't give out that information." I ran up to the desk.

"Please. I really need to talk to him. He's my best friend. I need to know if he's okay." She gave me a sympathetic look.

"I'm so sorry. There's no way of telling-" I cut her off.

"His full name is Benjamin Paul Bruce, he played in a band with me called Asking Alexandria since 2008 and he just quit when I came here to visit him a month ago. I know that he loves dogs, He was born October 31st 1988, and he's one of the sweetest guys you'll ever meet. I know that he was in here for self harm and it was all because of me...And I know that I fucking love him and I would die for him in a heartbeat." She stared at me with her mouth wide open and leaned over the counter, whispering an address in my ear.

"Thank you so much." I smiled at her and ran out the door. I was going to find him.

-Ben's P.O.V.-

A lot of time has gone by since I've seen Danny and I hadn't been thinking about him as much. 'He's happy with Andy now' I kept telling myself. And I'm happy with Frank. I looked back at this whole month sitting on the couch, watching the guys practice. I'd gotten closer to Frank than I ever thought I could with anyone, I made great friends, Gerard proposed to Lynz and most importantly, I was forgetting Danny. My thoughts were interrupted when Lynz came rushing down the stairs and ripped the mic away from Gee. She looked furious. Frank sat down next to me and I held his hand. He still hated her with every fiber of his being.

"I know your dirty little secret Gerard!!" She yelled.

"What?"

"Toro told me everything!! Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!!" He flashed Ray a look, who had his hands up in defense."

"But Lynz, I really don't-" He put a hand on her waist, but she pushed it off.

"I KNOW YOU WERE WITH FRANK!!!! I KNOW YOU LEFT ME FOR HIM!!!" She yelled in his face.

"Baby, I love you now, and you know that. He means nothing to me now." Frank had a look of complete pain across his face. He looked like he'd just been stabbed in the chest. He let go of my hand and fled the room.

"Frank!!!I didn't mean it like that!!" Gerard yelled after him.

"Have a nice life, faggot." Lynz spat, ripping the ring off her finger and throwing it at his feet. His eyes filled with tears and he ran after Frank. I ran up the stairs and into the living room. I was half way up the second set of stairs when I stopped in my tracks, hearing their conversation.

"I never should have left you, Frankie. I love you."

"I-I love you too, Geebear." It went silent. I sat down on the stair and dropped my head in my hands. My hands became wet with tears. Why does this keep happening to me. I'm not worth it. I'm not worth a real relationship. I'm just here as someone to fuck when you feel alone. I reached down in my pocket after my blade, when the doorbell rang. Realizing nobody else was going to answer it, I got up and walked towards the door. Wiping tears away, I pulled it open to someone leaning against the doorway. Danny Worsnop. He stood up straight and walked towards me.

"Ben!!A-are you crying?" He gave me a confused look.

"No. I'm fine. What are you doing here.." Seeing him made the situation worse.

"I miss you Benny. I need my guitarist back. I need my best friend back." His voice was trembling. I let out a breath.

"Shouldn't you be home making out with Andy or something." I gritted through my teeth.

"Ben, I made a mistake. I told you."

"THEN WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG TO COME GET ME!?!?!?!" I burst into sobs and he engulfed me into a hug.

"I was afraid. Afraid you hated me."

"How could I hate you.." I mumbled into his shoulder.

"Now can you tell me why you were crying..?" He whispered, his breath running across my neck. I really did miss him. I sat down on the stairs and told him the whole story.

"I can't believe I thought he was there for me.." I muttered.

"He hurt you?" He looked into my eyes. I nodded more tears slipping out of my eyes.

"You don't deserve this." He walked up the stairs and pounded on Frank's door.

-Danny's P.O.V.-

I couldn't stand seeing Ben like this. Whoever did this to him needs to know how hurt he is. I knocked loudly on the door he said they were in. After a while, a red haired guy without a shirt on came to the door.

"Uh, who are you..?"

"My name's Danny Worsnop." A short tattooed guy sitting on the bed behind him shifted uncomfortably. He walked over to the door and smiled awkwardly at me.

"Are you the twat who hurt my Ben?" I looked down at him.

"What?" He looked nervous.

"You really hurt him. He's not done anything and you just broke his heart a little more than it already was."

"From what I heard, you weren't much better to him."

"I LOVE HIM!!!" I yelled, feeling tears build in my eyes. Everyday I felt more an more guilty about what I'd done. Ben grabbed my arm and pulled me down the stairs.

-Ben's P.O.V.-

"C'mon Danny. I can't be here anymore.." Frank came out of the room.

"I-I'm sorry Ben.. I know how it feels.." I gave him a thumbs up and walked out the door, breathing in the fresh air. That's enough fresh air. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Danny grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him, placing a kiss on my lips.

"It's time to go home."