"Good Guanyin,what am I even going to say?"
Shi Yao stood a moment thinking about what he was planning to do,what he was going to say and how to act. In his mind,he was trying to single oit every possible outcome of the discussion: confessed love,lost friendships,true hatred,he didn't know which. He stood quietly and thought about it,waiting as patient as a dog (for he sometimes was like one) for the taller one,the man with whom he shared embraces,kisses and soft moments,waiting for a moment of opportunity to tell him that he knew what happened..that he remembered.
Unbeknownst to him,Xichen was thinking of something alike. He could have stayed silent,bear the memory of the lips and the love,but something pushed him,or moreover he felt like he was dragged by a godly force towards him..towards Shi Yao,like Shi Yao himself wanted him as soon as he could be. With swift steps,when the afternoon fell and everyone was quiet in their own order and free,the leader of Gusu walked close to the room in which his one night lover and thousand nights friend layed,expecting nothing but silence,maybe denial or even hate..but then again his heart wishing that what came out would be love.
He brought food with himself,Xichen,aware that his friend whom was now in his simple now home did not have enough time to eat,and felt bad that they hadnt shared a meal in so much time,that the last time they shared something as kind as a meal was when Shi Yao wore the title of "Lianfang Zun",in golden silks and with his sly beautiful eyes trickery.
"Can I come in?" He asked,staying close to the door and listening for any movement,feeling soft steps coming towards the sliding door as a shorter male,dressed in white-blue robes opened it,with both grace and modesty.
"You could have entered without asking,Er ge" he affirmed,taking the food and placing it on the low table then waiting for the taller one to sit infront of him. A betrayer he was this man Shi Yao,but never would forget his manners or whom stood superior now to him,and so he sat only the second Zewu Jun was down,with a slight smile forming on his lips.
The silence which followed could have been felt from meters away and cut with a knife. The two stared down,at the food and then at eachother,eating in utter peace like they couldnt speak,or like speaking about what bothered them was not neccesary,although it was.
"Er ge".Shi Yao broke the silence with a soft voice,looking at the man whom kept eating and raised his gaze from the rice into his very own. Both of them knew what this was going to be about,and yet for a minute neither said anything no more,Yao couldnt compress his thought and Zichen waited for Yao,just like a student waits a clock to ring at the end of the school programme for them to go home.
"Do you remember last night?" Yao asked after a minute,tasting salt and blood on his tongue as he bit his inner lip a bit too hard after saying that,seeming rather afraid of the answer. And even though he expected the mood to change from calm to tense and Xichen to change his gaze to one of hatred,his stare remained as calm as ever.
"I do"
Yao felt like his heart was picked out of himself,placed out in a jar and pickled along with lotus and then placed back in his chest. He looked for some moments at the man sitting infront of him,a little bit confused about his reaction,waiting for Xichen to change his demeanor,to say something else..and yet he didn't yet,like the man was waiting for him to say something. Both were waiting for the other to say something,cause even though they thought it out so much,they forgot what to say.
"Are you mad for what happened last night,er ge? Or what exactly do you remember of it?" Yao asked,trying to find out whether he knew everything or he blacked out mentally,memory wise,before what he remembered. To this affirmation Lan Xichen sighed and smiled slightly:So Shi Yao did remember as much as he did,didn't he? So both of them played to be more drunk than they really were.
"I remember everything,A-Yao. I remember the way you sipped the liquor like it was with the tip of your tongue,and after that everything we did,every embrace and word which lead to kisses and else..I remember saying even that I love you,that is certain."
Shi Yao didn't know how to react to that. So he knew? Why didn't he say anything,why was he so calm?
"Did you..?"
"If you are going to ask if I brought the drink only to lead to that I will say no,but I surely did one thing,A-Yao..
I meant it when I said I loved you"
