The New Girl Handbook

The Dream Boy

I was reading this rant book yesterday, and the weirdest thing caught my eye about boys being in the friend zone & how annoying it is that they think that they are in the friend zone and not us.

The book said something like, "And when YOU make the first move, they look at you weird and never talk to you again."

Okay.

That's pretty debatable.

And do you know who is amazing at school debates? This girl!

So let's look at it in the boys perspective.

A Random Boy's POV

I get my stuff out of my locker and when I'm done I close it. My face meet's a girl's that I have never seen before.

"Hey Luke," she says, "um, I know we've never talked before but can you be my lab partner."

I look at the girl like she's crazy. She expects me to not be lab partners with my 15 year best friend, Riley? To ditch him for some girl I haven't even met?

Okay. She's insane. I mean seriously, how does she even know my name?

"Um. I have to go..." I say getting the heck out of there. My eye catches a glimpse of her sad face as I walk away.

Weird stranger.

You have to think about that way before you go on judging.

Boys are like babies.

Take my baby cousin for example - if you don't let her know that you are totally okay do-kay before you try to pick her up...lets just say you've got a free ticket to Loud Crying Ville.  

What I do is from a distance, say peek-a-boo to her. Then when she laughs I come over while still doing peek-a-boo then then I pick her up she's laughing.

She's so adorable when she's not crying her eyes out.

Anyway...

You have to do the same thing with boys.

No, don't play peek-a-boo with them from a distance then come closer while playing peek-a-boo then pick up the boy.

Imagine how weird that would be...or look!

What I mean is show him that your okay gradually. Like show off some skills around him, if you are in the same room in P.E, or get your make a joke around him with your besties.

If your shy...embrace it!

Use your other great abilities. Like if your good at art, show your paintings to someone when your near the guy. If they are all like, "That is the most AMAZING thing I have ever seen anyone draw. Ever." I'm pretty sure the guy would be like, "Let me see!"

Yeah...let's just forget about the whole curiosity killed the cat thing for this second...

Now...let me jump into it...

:o The Dreamy Guy ;)

We have all had a crush on someone at some point and time, okay? So don't go on pretending that you haven't had one.

Even if you are a guy. You've had a crush.

If you say otherwise I will call you a liar.

*readers say they haven't had a crush*

LIARS!

Anyway...

If you a girl you know what I'm talking about.

Yup.

The Dreamy Guy.

I just went there.

It's the guy you put on a pedestal for some reason, because he's really nice or really cute, or nice and cute.

Which is a bonus for us girl (to any guys reading this).

Whatever your reason is, you put him on a pedestal. And when he looks at you, you swear all of the air in your body just goes away.

Even if he's saying, "Colette, you're supposed to pass the paper. Why are you looking at me like that, it's kinda creepy..."

And you just start to kind of twitch you eyes like, "What's creepy?"

Anyway...

You just like this guy. If it's his eyes, his hair, his eyebrows, his personality, his humor, his...anything. You just like him instantly.

My "dream guy" was...well...dreamy!

He - let's call him Jason - seemed perfect. He was nice, funny, cute, funny, nice, you know nice, and nice, and even nice...did I mention he was nice?

Players aren't my type.

So half the girls in my math class at one point and time had a crush on Jason on one point and time, including me.

I got over my crush on him, by trying to see the bad in him...and I couldn't find that...so I think that I prayed to God that I wouldn't have any classes with him, and I didn't.

But my French class was right across from his locker, and my teacher would keep us in the hallway because a few guys, I, and one of my friends, would always play trashketball (when you play basketball with a paper ball and a trash can basket).

Then my other friends that I have no classes with would talk to me, and I was like, "Yay! Distraction!"

So I never really paid attention to Jason as much as I would have.

Then I joined the newspaper.

Nobody even read the newspaper. Why did I join? The free Jolly Ranchers.

When I say no one reads the newspaper I mean no one.

The people that buy the newspaper only buy it because we bribe them with a free Jolly Rancher per newspaper.

We are that desperate.

Anyway, I had to interview Jason.

I did it. I am a survivor.

I just tried not to look at his eyes. If I had I would have frozen right there, and turn into a stuttering mess, because his eyes are so blue.

I swear, if they are bluer than Nash freaking Grier's. They're better too.

Woah, woah....this conversation took a weird turn.

Anyway...have two How To's down below.

How to know if you have a crush on "The Dream Boy"

Okay. Here we go.

1)You're heart takes a double take.

2) You keep on thinking about him.

3) You feel like he's perfect.

4) You want to go out with him.

That's it.

I mean, number four is kind of straight forward. Even if you think, " I could never go out with him, he's him, and I'm....ugh.", that wasn't the statement.

It was do you want to go out with him. Not do you think, or can you go out with him.

NEXT!

How to spot a "Dream Boy"

1) Okay. So technically almost any guy can be a dream boy.

Because you could like any of them. Seriously. It's up to you. If he's you're dream boy...he's your dream boy, I guess.