The New Girl Handbook

R.P.D

Now this chapter is about a serious disorder that I'm pretty sure I made up, but actually happens.

Yes, I'm that good of a doctor. I totally got my PhD. No need to search it up though. No need at all. No, I mean it.

Just don't.

Anyway, I know what your thinking. What the heck is R.P.D? Well, it's Reversed Personality Disorder, something that happens very often for people who move. This "disorder" only effects the very not-shy people who are very outgoing.

Like myself. And yes, I have suffered from a major case of R.P.D, but I'm a survivor. I'm proud to be standing among you today.

Okay, I might be over-exaggerating. R.P.D isn't that serious. Almost everyone gets over it by at most the first month at school.

I said almost *chuckles like that evil guy from Phineas and Ferb*.

You may still be thinking. WHAT THE HECK IS R.P.D?

Okay, okay. I'll tell you. Calm your angry voice.

R.P.D is when your personality turns the complete opposite when you start talking to someone. Seriously. It freaks me out, so darn much.

At my now old school, I was one of those girls that would could walk around with a lot of confidence after falling down about 6 times in a row during one of those pep rally games.

Which has very unfortunately happened before, but that is for a different chapter.

Then here in a brand new state, I went to a brand new church, and all of my Three C's (charm, cuteness, and confidence) went down the drain.

It was terrible, I was a bumbling mess. I was like, "Um...haha...yeah, err. I moved from Alabama. Yeah Richmond seems, err, nice. Yeah, totally. I'm...haha...yeah...my dad's job."

I mean seriously? Where was the Colette I knew and loved?

R. P. D does that you.

It really feels weird, because everything about you is reversed. You know what the worst thing is? On that day, I was determined to wear heels.

For the first time. In six months.

Why six months? Well the last time I wore heels it was to school, and as soon as I got there a was walking...no I was limping like a zombie, and my legs hurt. It's not like I walked to school. No. I took a car there, and those about 20 steps to get in the building almost killed me.

I'm pretty sure I forgot about that at the time, and when I got to church my dad and mom were laughing their heads off at my walking skills. It hurt so bad! Then when I got to my class, the teacher told us to get up and play a game of tag.

And I, with my stupidity, piped up and said that I'd be it. So, at least then I knew I was recovering a little from R.P.D. At least I talked.

By the end of the class period, I was way more like myself. That totally helped.

I'm so off topic. This is about R.P.D, not just me. (Did ya see what I did there. Yup, I did. Pretty proud of myself).

So, back to the topic.

How to recover from R.P.D

There unfortunately is no official cure for R.P.D.

Okay?

Okay.

*Fan girls about The Fault in Our Stars for a second before continuing.*