Ephmera || MYG

29. Choi Harin

"Think before you speak."

And when she thought he wouldn't return- he did. Not directly but like warm coffee left with a knock. Like a soft hanky left at the door.

The next time,
She got into his room from the interconnected door and he was lying on his bed, faint tear stained his pale cheeks and,
all he had in his palm was a portrait. The portrait of a woman on the beach with short bob cut hair and brown eyes which could be seen from her half-moon eye smile, her smile was that of pure joy, standing in a white shirt and a jacket of jeans. She was pure heaven.

Down on the right side corner there was handwritten stuff,
Yoonie's Harin <3.
15 june

But this handwriting was not Yoongi's.
She observed the picture in his palm until her wrist was held firmly, his eyes met hers as if he was connecting what she was doing there. He sat up straight
"What are you doing here?"

"Choi Harin, what was she really like Yoongi? " His gaze was soft yet aching. She exhaled as if her throat had burnt by the amount of courage needed to let it out.

"She hated taking pictures, said none captured the true liveliness but that day, she could not complain." He spoke and she heard.

"Why don't you like pictures?"

"They don't really capture the liveliness."

"Stupid."

"Did you say something!?"

"No Ofcourse."

"Look at this Harin, this is the liveliness in the picture." He showed her the beach picture and she just hummed this time.

"I went to the cyber café she worked at, to hear her jokes about my music taste." Y/N could tell, she mattered, she mattered alot. Because eyes, weren't reserved, they were of a man in depth of incomplete love.
"She was light in darkness, Like literally.
Well I was the shadow." His eyes were unfocused, in the memories of her. He stared long at that photograph.

"Yo, mister rock music, back here again?" He just hummed staring an instant longer at her bright smile.

"She wasn't supposed to notice but somehow she did anyway. We dated for three years, at the end of the third year, she was diagnosed with third stage cancer..." he paused, her hand found a way to his. Kind of assuring him. Her heart raced at the news. "And God, only heavens know how much scared I was to loose her."

"Stop treating me like I'm sick!" He paused

"But-"

"Well, I'm not a loser here, ya'll make me feel like I've lost already. " A serious pout sat on her lips.

"Fine, my champ. What about princess treatment? Still a no to that?" He wiggled his eyebrows playfully subtly holding her hand.

"Well, you treat me no less but I wouldn't mind." She giggled

"Is that so...?" He covered her with her blanket,cuppinb her cheeks, and a gaze filled as if she might disappear if he looked away.

" yepppppp" she bopped his nose, her eyes were cresent moon shaped but, what he couldn't see was the act in them

"She denied to look sick anyhow. She hated being treated like one too. I held on to her, but, she looked careless. Her health worsened everyday."

"Until one day, she was standing beside me on the bridge which had a little gap in it's fencing. She stood there as if she was one with the soft breeze."His eyes lost the light but twinkled instead.

"Yoongi..." she murmured, skin paler than yesterday yet somehow she still had her lips curved upwards.

"What?" he asked softly

"Please, live. Live with or without me. Do not wait for me."

He couldn't understand her at all until she kissed his forehead and said,

"I love you and I'm sorry." And jumped, into the river below. His breath hitched. all he could see was Harin becoming one with the water and disappeared, he froze at his place refusing to believe this.

He tried to hold onto her but he was late. He yelled,heck dialed the emergency team in a hurry. The people surrounded the area.
That was the day he lost his forever. She didn't even let him say a proper goodbye.

"They never found her body yet, I waited. I waited for her to come back at my door one day for years but she never did... I had nightmares of her face before she jumped...
Sometimes I remember how she looked at the ocean, like she belonged to it. And I wonder if she really does now." He sighed his porcelain skin had no crease.

"Well Jin Hyung knew, since he and I were together at that time. And Hoseok, well, he got to know from hyung and boom, everybody knows, except you." She held his hands tightly, tears making way to her eyes. Her grip brought him back, back to reality, back to her.

"I'm sorry, Yoongi I didn't know."

He stared at her for awhile, "It's okay Y/N, don't cry." And yet she cried more making his eyes teary too.
"I just don't know how to not love the person I knew she was. And maybe it was me who was never enough."

"Yoongi. You made her happy when she was alive, you were her light too. It wasn't your fault." She wipeď his tears and he did hers.

"And you, well you,
I'm sorry, I don't know why I feel this..I'm sorry. I like you." He spoke so softly.

Choi Harin was the ghost that she was incompetent of.
Choi Harin was the first love of her first love.
And no matter, how much it aches she'd stay.

"Well, Y/N. What about your past, anyone?" He teased, his still moist eyes had a glint of mischief in them.

"No. Ofcourse not!" She exclaimed, "You're my first." Her grip was so gentle that it felt as if he wasn't just her love, he was her salvation.

"Wait, you're saying you-"

"Yes." Her eyes were starry, cheeks slightly dusted pink and Yoongi swore, he felt it, the spark. Why was it so infectious?

She mattered to him. He knew then, at this moment, the girl he used to tease all his childhood mattered so much.

That night they slept together in each other's arms ignorant of all the problems the world had given them.

......