Fire in the Nothing (Jardougall)

Chapter 2

  I woke up the next morning with a headache. It was dark in Lynn's room. I crawled out of bed, being careful not to wake her, and then I pulled open the curtains just enough to find my clothes. Her room was a mess and I had trouble finding my jeans. I pushed around some of Lynn's clothes but couldn't find them. I shrugged and walked out of the room in a tank top and my underwear. I could hear the TV playing downstairs and figured Luke was already up even though it was only 8:30. I crossed the hall into the washroom where I took a quick shower and fixed my make-up.

When I came back to Lynn's room, she was still asleep and had pulled the covers over her face. Slightly more awake, I saw my jeans had been tossed onto the dresser last night. I pulled them on and got the rest of my stuff together, then I picked up a joint that neither of us had gotten around to smoking last night. I lit it and kissed Lynn's sleeping form goodbye, then I shut the door behind me. I walked downstairs toward where the sounds of the TV were still playing. Luke was shirtless on the couch with a bong in front of him.

"Good morning," I said softly, toking on the joint.

"Oh hey, Jen," He smiled and held his hand out for the joint. I passed it to him.

I sat next to him on the couch, staring blankly at the TV, feeling the weed take effect on my mind and body.

"You're up early," he nudged me.

"Yeah," I nodded, checking my watch. "I've got an appointment at 10:30."

"Do you want a ride?" He offered, passing the joint back to me.

I shook my head, "Nah, I'll take the subway. Thanks, though." I took a long toke and I realized how tired I was. I had been up late with Lynn, smoking up and fooling around. Like everything was normal. Luke must have read my face.

"Did you work it out with Lynn?"

I took another drag. Did I? I mean I had forgiven her, I guess. We had sex last night. I slept in her bed. I guess it's been worked out. Why didn't I feel happy about it though? One last drag before I handed it back to Luke to finish it off. When I looked over at him, I saw he was looking at the bruise on my upper arm. Shit. I had forgotten my hoodie upstairs.

"Yes," I said firmly. "We worked it out."

He took the joint from me but he didn't smoke it. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze. Like he knew I was lying.

"I've gotta go. I'll see you around, Luke," I said, standing up.

"Okay. Later," he smiled at me.

I ran upstairs to grab my hoodie, being careful not to wake Lynn, then I headed out the door to the subway.

_____________________

"Jenna?" The doctor called me from the waiting room door.

I nodded and stood up from my seat to follow her to her office. She motioned for me to sit in the chair across from her desk.

"How is everything?" She asked as she opened my file, skimming through it quickly.

"I'm..." I paused. How do I answer that? "Not great... I was hoping to discuss my medication."

She looked at me sympathetically. "You don't think it's working for you anymore?" I shook my head. "That's quite common with Prozac. You're already on a fairly high dose it looks like. I'm not sure I want to increase it. So, let's talk about switching you to a different medication."

She talked me through a few options, and eventually wrote me out a prescription for Lexapro.

"It's important that you slowly come off of Prozac, 5 milligrams every few days, until you're completely off it. Then start slowly with Lexapro, the same way. We'll start you at 10 milligrams and I'll see you in 6 weeks to review how you're feeling."