Fire in the Nothing (Jardougall)

Chapter 8

The evening couldn't come soon enough. After rushing home from work to clean up and walk Maggie, I was on my way to Tay's place. I was nervous in all honesty. I wasn't sure what she was going to say to me. What was going on in her head would either make or break us. I didn't want think about it anymore. Moments later, I was knocking on the door next to the entrance to her studio. She pulled it open, looking happy to see me. Maybe I was worried for nothing.

"Jenna!" She pulled me in for a hug. "Come in!"

I followed her inside onto the small landing at the foot of a set of stairs and she led the way up. She opened another door at the top of the stairs and I was engulfed in incense. Her apartment looked exactly the way I expected it to. It was all very open, the kitchen spilling into the dining room. Much like mine, but much less crowded. Nature wasn't much of an option in New York, but she had plants all over the place. Candles illuminated the entire room. In fact, I couldn't see any unnatural lights on at all. All of her furniture was wooden, and couches and chairs were fitted with pale green cushions and mandala throws. It was cozy but modern.

"I'm just about finished with dinner. Make yourself at home, okay?" She walked off to the kitchen and I set my bag down on the couch.

I felt excited to finally be seeing the interior of her place. I couldn't help but wonder if I would be seeing more of it after tonight. My thoughts wandered to what her bedroom might look like...

"Alright! Let's eat!" Tay called from the kitchen, pulling me out of my thoughts.

She headed into the dining room with a large pot which she set down on the table. I walked over and took a seat across from her. The plates and cups matched the seat covers: pale green. I picked up the plate, inspecting the material.

"Are these..."

"Bamboo," she said, smiling, as she began piling a quinoa dish onto the plates.

It smelt amazing and looked so healthy. We dug in once she had sat down and I couldn't believe how good it was. I felt kind of incompetent next to Tay. Her whole apartment was like a small oasis full of life and eco-friendliness. I was jealous of how much she had her life under control and how much passion she had for the things she did. It wasn't an angry kind of jealousy, though. It actually made me want to try harder, and improve my life.

"I'm really glad I met you," I said to her after we had eaten a bit.

She smiled at me. "Me too," she said softly.

I half expected her to launch into an explanation about what was going on with us but she didn't. Instead we spoke about her house and all of the eco features she had going on. Turns out I was sitting on 100% pure hemp cushions and wiping my face with jojoba infused napkins.

"How is your life so put together?" I asked her.

She looked surprised at the question, and then a little sad.

"It's really not... My home is my sanctuary. I put a lot of effort into it. But trust me, I have a lot more issues than you think."

I wanted to ask what she meant by that and if her issues could rival mine, but she changed the subject.

"I guess we should talk about last night."

I nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"I'm really sorry about all the mixed signals I've been giving you. I can imagine it's been really annoying and confusing. And... sorry for... you know... kissing you out of the blue like that..." She said quietly.

"No, it's totally fine. I mean, I'm not complaining," I joked.

"Listen... I really like you Jenna. You know, I came to New York looking to start over and I really wasn't expecting to meet someone as cool as you. Like, I have so much fun when I'm with you."