Anything But Normal

Chapter 1: Telling The Father

It's now or never, I tell myself as I stand warily outside his front door. I need to get this over and done with. I push my hair out of my face and let out a long, shuddery sigh as my stomach wants to bring my breakfast back up.

My hands are shaking unnaturally in my pockets; as if my body had a mind of its own. My legs shuddering and matching the rhythm of the tap tap tap as my hand make contact with my thighs. I have never felt so anxious in my life.

But why am I so nervous? I have been dating this guy for at least a year and a half now. He is so perfect for me, it's as if I'm a puzzle and he is the missing piece. I have waited for four months to tell him, and in this time my Mum and sister have found out. My Mum was furious, and demanded I have an abortion because I'm too young to have such a big responsibility.

But she let it pass, telling me it was my decision and told me to tell the Dad to see if he wanted to be involved. I don't think she realises how terrified I was when I held the positive pregnancy test in my fingers, the 2 blue lines signifying that the early morning vomiting sessions weren't just a stomach bug. I should've gone for the abortion when I had the chance, as I am still a child myself! The commitment I'll have to make to this baby on the way hasn't really come into my mind until today.

My tight blue top shows off my growing bump, as I want him to see it as soon as he opens the door. The door to the rest of my life. I have been meeting up with him, as we usually do, but I wear a loose fitting dress or a big wooly cardigan, as the weather is beginning to feel a bit to bitterly cold for October. However I know the hiding won't last. I'll become pretty obviously pregnant by the end of next month. The earlier the better.

My hand reaches up and knocks on the door, the noise ringing in my ears. My conscience wishes that he won't be in, that I only just missed him and he's out with his brother. When he opens the door, my face drops. A smiley face greets me as always. it's usually the only thing that keeps me sane, however today is different. I look up into his grass green eyes as they clash with my smooth brown ones. Now that's the thing that makes me feel better right now. The temptation to hug him erupted through my body and I can't help but run into his arms. His hands slide around my back and I un-tense immediately. A small choke of what is half a laugh and half a cry comes from my mouth. From looking into his eyes, I can sense that he'll be here for me and be the perfect Father to our child.

He pulls away, keeping his hand safely on my back, and guides me into his house, even though I know my way around. I feel like his possession as his hand on my back becomes more firm as it feels protective, but also possessive. He leads me into the conservatory and goes back to lock the front door. I settle down onto one of the lavender leather sofas and position myself comfortably. I lean back into the fluffy pillows and grasp my thoughts. I need to be strong now, I need to prove to everyone that I'm not weak and that I can handle a situation like this. I need to grow up. I need to become more mature for my baby.

Suddenly, Dame strolls into the living room and leans against the door frame. Suddenly I don't feel ready to tell him.

"Do you want a drink or-" He begins to ask but his voice trails off and his eyes are fixed on my stomach. My cheeks flush from embarrassment, as Dame stares at me and I wish I could just get up and leave. His face turns sickly pale quickly. His spiky dark brown hair looks misplaced on the wrong head as he is missing his usual tanned complexion in his facial area. His face reads a mixture of fear and confusion. I'm not sure which one I'm more pleased about. I'd love him to have more affection in his eyes, and I feel slightly disappointed.

"Is it mine?" Dame asks me, his voice barely above a whisper.

"You're the only person I've slept with Dame!" I exclaim angrily and massage my temples. Is he that stupid? Does he really believe that at the age of fourteen I'm having sex on a regular basis with multiple guys? We've been dating for over a year, does he really not trust me.

He gulps and I know that he's trying to choose his words carefully. The last time he annoyed me I threw his Xbox controller across the room and it shattered into little tiny pieces, with the help from the heel of my boot.

'Are you su- how far along are you?" He asks, quickly diverting the question somewhere else.

"Four months." I say, my voice wobbling a bit. No, you need to be strong now  I tell myself sternly, but I can feel my voice cracking and tears forming a new layer on my eyes.

"Do you have a scan?" He asks. I glance up at him and see that he's regained a bit of colour in his cheeks.

I nod my head and look around in my handbag, fishing out a slightly crinkled scan of our baby. I hand it to Dame with no hesitation, and I think he is going to cry. I thought guys didn't cry? But then his face turns stoney cold again. Like if he moves a muscle, the house will come crashing down on top of us. Leaving us both alone, and terrified just as I am now. His face was as pale as snow, which made me wonder what was going on inside his head.

"Dame?" I say lightly. But I have to say his name twice more before he snaps out of his trance. "I need to know now if you will be there for me and the baby." Urgency had crept into my voice at the feeling of raising a baby alone. I'm scared of it all, I really need Dame to support me, not just my Mum and sister. It's not enough, I need the Father of my child to be there to help me.

"Asia-" He says, sitting next to me. "My Dad has been offered a bigger and better job with more pay."

"So," I snarl. "Is that a yes or a no?"

Dame sighs heavily before carrying on his sentence. "He said he's taken it, and that we need to get ready."

"You didn't answer my question," I sigh. I'm impatient now, and stare at his many features on his face. A light prepubescent stubble grazes the bottom of his chin and his hair is a tousled mess from how much he's been running his hand through it. I'd die if I lost him. I then rethink about what he said to me. "Wait a second, ready for what?"

"To move house. The job is in London."

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Picture of Asia at top