Anything But Normal

Chapter 17: Up and Forward

2 weeks later, I'm finally released from hospital with my two little miracles. I had to be kept in a little longer as they needed to make sure that Tyler was able to breath properly. The doctors say that if I have any worries about his breathing to bring him back into hospital. That made me anxious, because the way the doctor stated it, it sounded like he excepted him to have troubles breathing.

I squint as the burning sun hits my weak, tired eyes. I've barely got any sleep the past weeks, as I've been to caught up and worried about Tyler and too busy looking after Callie. People complain how hard work one is, but do they know how incredibly difficult it is with two!?

Callie is sleeping in her pink car seat and Tyler is also sleeping in his blue one. I load them into car and sit in between them with my mum driving and Sam in the passenger seat. I glance at my children and even before my mum starts the car, I've fallen into a deep sleep, and this time nightmares didn't crowd my peaceful state.

•

I'm awaken by high pitched cries, and for a moment I forgot where I was, that is until I realise I'm in bed, and my babies are screaming for me from their bassinets. I groan frustratedly and pull back my bed covers, dragging myself over to them and picking up Callie and kissing her forehead. As soon as she's in my warm embrace she stops crying, and Tyler starts. But luckily Sam is walking in through the door and goes to pick up Tyler. I can tell that Tyler recognises Sam as his Dad because he stops crying as well.

"We should go and give them bottles," I yawn, tiptoeing towards the open door and going to the kitchen. I pull out the formula and make up 2 bottles, handing one to Sam and we sit down at the dining table and sit there in the eerie silence of the hollow room.

"Do you think you would've.. Ya know... Had sex with Dame if you knew they were gonna be this difficult to handle?" Sam asks awkwardly.

I take a few seconds before answering him. "It felt right at the time, and I love him," I shrug, turning back to Callie, stroking her cheek and watching her suckle on her bottle.

"What do you mean by love? You still love him?" Sam asks, shocked. I look up at his shaggy hair, my cheeks burning red and stutter with my answer.

"Well... I mean I used to... But I will always love him... But not like I love you... It's just, well he was my first love and your first love will always have a small place in your heart. But after he beat you up I'm starting to wonder if I did, I mean, if I do love him." I look back to Callie, who's finished her bottle and now sleeping soundly.

I stand up and put the bottle in the bottle steriliser, turning back to Sam who has tears streaming down his face, and I can see them dropping down onto Tyler's onesie. I go over to him and bend down so I can see his face which is streaked with tears.

I don't even have to ask him for an answer.

"I just worry that you'll leave me like my Mum did," he cries out, wiping tears from him face and breathing in and out heavily.

"Hey, you don't have to worry about that okay? I love you, not the acne boy next door, not Mike, not Dame, you. Okay?"

"Okay."

I smile up at him and kiss him on the cheek. "Come on, the little devils are sleeping now."

Sam sterilises the bottle and follows me back upstairs, where we put the twins down.

"Hey, stay here tonight." I smile and climb into bed. I lean into him and wrap my arms around him.

"You didn't answer my question earlier." He murmurs as we're drifting into sleep.