Jedtavius (Jedediah&Octavius) One-shots

❣︎ ︎- latin lessons

"Would you please walk faster?" Octavius called over his shoulder, practically skipping down the cobbled street.

Jedediah trudged behind him with a dramatic sigh, hands in his pockets. "I ain't built for marathon tours, man. My legs are half the size of yours and I'm wearin' boots, not fancy dancin' shoes."
Octavius didn't even slow down. "You're in Rome, Jedediah. My home. My safe-space. I need you to see it all."

Jed muttered, "If I collapse from exhaustion, tell Gigantor it was culturally enriching."
That made Octavius giggle as he spun around, walking backwards now, face lit up with pride.
"Just wait till we reach the forum. It's where my grandfather debated a senator into retirement."

"Y'all and your forums," Jed said, rolling his eyes, though there was a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
He didn't mind, actually. Not when Octavius looked like this—glowing, alive in a way Jed didn't see often enough. It made something warm twist in his chest.
Octavius was walking ahead, practically bouncing in his sandals.

"This—this street right here," he said, waving excitedly, "is where the public debates used to be held! I once witnessed a centurion challenge a senator to a duel over olive oil policy."

Jed, dragging behind him and trying to act unimpressed, rolled his eyes with a half-grin. "Y'all had oil drama? Damn, Rome really was ahead of its time."

Octavius didn't even register the sarcasm. He just spun around and walked backward for a few paces, grinning from ear to ear. "Come now, admit it—this place is magnificent."

Jed's eyes scanned the marble walls, the flickering torchlight, the exaggerated drama of it all. And yeah... it was kinda cool. Especially seeing Octavius light up like this, talking fast and excited like he was showing Jed his childhood home. Which, technically, he was.
"Alright, fine," Jed muttered. "Y'got me. It's kinda pretty."

Octavius beamed like Jed had handed him a trophy. "Ha! I knew you'd break sooner or later."

They wandered further into the exhibit, weaving through little alleys until they found a tucked-away tourist shop—a rotating stand filled with clothes, shiny helmets, and ridiculous souvenirs.
Jedediah poked through the rack of oddly small capes, squinting at a set of golden sandals that didn't look like they could survive a day in the desert. "These things are not built for walkin'."
Meanwhile, Octavius had wandered off to another section, still beaming.

Jed walked over to a shelf and paused. Sitting right there was a tiny snow globe, a perfect recreation of a Roman plaza—mini columns, tiny horses, and right at the center, a smiling little Roman soldier with a gold cape and that same smug heroic stance Octavius always had when he was trying to look dramatic.
He blinked at it. Mini Octavius. The resemblance was almost insulting. And yet... he grinned.
He picked it up carefully and walked to the front counter, where a sleepy-looking cashier leaned over the register.

"Uh... 'scuse me," Jed said to the man behind the counter, "how much does this lil' guy cost?"

Jedediah realized that it might have been stupid of him to ask, since the man might not even speak English, was about to turn to Octavius for help, however the cashier seemed to understand Jed.

"Sex," The cashier responded.

Jed froze.

"...Sorry?"

The man pointed at the globe. "Sex."

There was a moment of total silence.
Jed didn't move. His eyes locked onto the cashier like he'd just committed a felony.
From across the shop, Octavius turned his head at the sudden quiet.
Jed stood with his back still to him, motionless. Then, after a beat, he turned slowly, very slowly, turned to glance behind him.
Emotionless. The soul had left his body.
He slowly pointed at the cashier with the most betrayed look imaginable.

"Octavius," he said, voice cracking slightly. "He just harassed me."

Octavius blinked. "Pardon?"

Jed's voice grew louder, more incredulous. "Octavius. He just said somethin'. I don't know what he said, but it felt illegal."

Octavius blinked.
Jed waited.
And then Octavius exploded with laughter.

Jed just stared at him.

Octavius was clutching his stomach now, tears welling in his eyes as he laughed. "It means six, Jedediah! Sex is six in Latin!"

Jed turned to look back at the cashier, who looked mildly concerned but mostly confused.
Octavius, still snorting, stepped in, handing over the correct amount of coins as he wiped his face. He gave the cashier a quick explanation, then turned back to Jed, who was now standing completely stiff, snow globe still clutched to his chest like a trauma blanket.
The cashier smiled at him gently and said something else Jed couldn't understand, nodding kindly.

Octavius grabbed Jed's hand and tugged him out of the shop. "He said you're cute," he teased.

"Tell him he's not." Jedediah grumbled.

They made it back onto the street.

"I thought it was cute, it looked like a mini you, but... I don't want it anymore," Jed muttered, gesturing to the globe. "It's cursed."

"Nope. Too late. It's ours now. The Sex Globe of 2025."

Jedediah looked at him flatly. "Don't ever say that again."