Cherry Bomb [H.S.]

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Laying on my back on my bed, I pull the cigarette from my lips - letting the smoke escape from my mouth and head towards the ceiling. It's been a little over a month since I left Marlowe's and we've had no contact since. There were times where I found myself on the verge of calling her. I wanted to apologize for what I did and to assure her that everything between us was real, but I've never been able to follow through with it. She wanted me gone, and I need to respect that.

I managed to convince my mum to let me move back in. The boyfriend she had when I moved out had been gone for some time, so she was in need of money again. It took me giving her everything I had saved up for my car for her to let me stay.

I'm still working at the record store because I know that I need to get out of this house eventually, but I just don't have the means to do that right now - not with the way I've been drinking again. It hasn't been as bad as it was when I was with Rylan, but I haven't been sober by any means. There's been a few nights where I've managed to drink myself close to a blackout, but I've tried avoiding that for the most part. I had a night a couple of weeks ago where I ended up scaring myself with how fucked up I got, and since then, I've been trying to take it easier.

Pushing myself off the mattress, I lean over to snuff my cigarette out in the ashtray on my side table before I leave my bedroom and head across the hall to the bathroom to wash off the day. I had worked a shift at the record store earlier, and I usually take a shower right when I get home, but I was tasked with getting my mum into her bed since she had gone on another all night bender and was passed out on the couch. I made sure I put her on her side with a trashcan by the side of her bed, and then I retreated to my bedroom to smoke a cigarette to ease some of the stress I was feeling.

I turn the shower on and strip out of my clothes before tying my hair into a bun so I don't get it wet. Sighing, I allow the hot water to soak my skin while I roll my neck from side to side to work out the tension I can feel in it. I brace one hand on the wall in front of me as I shake my head.

Basic tasks such as taking a shower or eating a meal feel so burdensome ever since I left Marlowe's. I know I've fallen into such a depression after fucking up the one pure and meaningful thing I've ever had in my life. As dramatic as it sounds, life without Marlowe just seems pointless. She gave me goals. She made me happy to wake up every morning wrapped up in her scent. Now everything just feels empty. The only thing I have to look forward to is getting enough money to get out of this house eventually.

The only reason why I came back here, and let my mom take the money I had saved, was because I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to keep up at the record store. I figured that my addiction would take over again completely, and that I'd end up being fired or I'd quit myself. Knowing that I can at least keep it together enough to maintain my job has me hopeful that I'll be out of this house within the next three or four months.

Once I finish up in the shower, I head back into my room and pull on a fresh pair of briefs with some sweatpants. Just as I'm pulling my shirt over my head, I hear a knock at the door and my brows pinch together. I leave my bedroom again and look over to see that Mum's door is still shut, so I know it's not her after somehow locking herself out. Heading down the hall, I peek out the window to make sure it isn't my mum's ex-boyfriend coming around again, but instead, I see Kailey standing there.