Sympathy for the Devil

38

Killian kissed me. Relief drowned me. Short-lived relief.

"Now is not the time. If Lugh hears, we slowed down for a kiss..." Failinis glowered. His voice was deep and baritone.

The pain, the hurt... all of it melted away as I drowned in Killian's lips that tasted like spearmint. The torment burned away as his tongue entered my throat with a teasing coolness.

The kiss that was long and deep had to wait as I pulled away. "Killian. It's a trap." I choked out the obvious as the kiss broke off, yanking us both out of our lusty stupors. I placed my hands on his shoulders gently as he pulled me into his chest. He smoothed his knuckles over my hair soothingly. "You shouldn't have come. They killed Sally." I choked on a sob. "They killed Bennett's mom, Kill. Arawn killed Li. Uncle Char-" My vocal cords strained until they snapped completely. "I want it to end," I spoke hoarsely. "I want to wake up from this nightmare. My torment. Bennett's torment."

I pounded my fists against Killian's chest as my hands loosened and felt his rhythmic heart thrum against my fingertips. His beating heart was sharp with unspoken contemplation. He grabbed my hand as he rubbed comforting circles over my bloodied knuckles. It was from Sally's blood. I now had blood on my hands. I shouldn't have yelled for her at the school parking lot. She wouldn't have come if I hadn't yelled. I am the reason she's dead. God fucking dammit! I couldn't break or dwell. I had to move forward and make sure we all get out alive, even if we all are scarred and stricken by the binding ties of sorrow.

"I'm not letting you stay a victim of your father's damned plan. This isn't your fault, Jellie Belly." He paused. "We're not just the sum of our parts. God, we never should've been treated like spare parts." He hesitated before adding, "I'll bring Sally back. Your uncle too. Li. I can do that, remember?"

He'd clearly read my thoughts. I didn't care. I never minded when he slipped into my head.

"You said you never would." I focused on his beating heart. Anything to focus on that would help keep my sanity. His heart is honest. It can't lie. The rapid drumming of truth serum. He's shaken to his core, too. This is new villainous territory for both of us. We cannot be heroes. I know that now. We are pushed into these positions where we must be. Tactful. Manipulated cogs to machines that have long been broken.

"Some people are worth saving. I must save them. I can't save everyone, but I have to save them." His heart slowed to a normal rhythm as he gripped my hand and gave it a lasting squeeze. I wanted to hold him forever.

We didn't care that two souls would take Sally and Li's place. The random deaths would be merciful. Sally didn't have mercy in the end. Nor did Li.

"I lied." Killian pulled away from me suddenly. I almost didn't hear what he said. "I don't use my gift because another soul will die in place of the one saved." He paused as he took a shaky breath. "The Gods didn't take too kindly to my gift that could save their own children from their inflicted damnations. They summoned me to their court. You never want to be summoned by the Gods. Never."

I stilled.

He opened his mind to me and let me read him like a book. Every word he spoke, I saw it through his eyes. His mind turned into a movie screen.

"They knew I brought my parents back. They didn't like my gifts or the fact that I existed at all. The Gods held a vote to kill me for good. Amid all of the chaos and them allowing me to live, something even worse happened. They saw my memories. Archived memories played like a movie to further judge me. They saw that I fought monsters valiantly. That's what let me live. My charming heroics were good for something. The memory that cursed me was when I saved my parents. They let my parents live beyond their expectations, without me. Everyone from here on out that I save loses all memories and attachments to me. As if I never existed to them." He paused as his cheeks sank. "I'm forgotten completely."