Sympathy for the Devil

43

There was a moment when there were both of them, there were seconds when there was one of them. There is an unbearable instance where there is none of them.

Sometimes the trajectory of the end runs parallel with the beginning.

Death and life are two blurred imaginings that are closely linked. You cannot have one without the other. We read about that during junior year English class with Ms. Deverin. "The Life of Pi." If only we knew how relevant that book would turn out to be.

Are these letters helping you in the slightest? Lugh said that I should write everything down to help you, but you're still in a coma, Bennett. It feels selfish to write and sit around doing nothing. Arawn let us go, but not without consequence. The bridge opened. Annwn will swallow this universe whole in due time unless I take my own life. I can't stop it unless I'm gone too. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. You deserve better. My apologies will never be enough.

Reminiscing is bullshit at this point. And I selfishly still want you to wake up to have a friend to talk to as the end of the world unfolds around us. If you do wake up, I might not be here to see it. You deserve a universe to come back to. I just can't be a part of that universe any longer.

The hum of machines steadied while I wrote. I wrote one letter every day Bennett remained in a coma to leave on the hospital nightstand. I'm on my fifth letter now. When Lugh cleared me mentally, he allowed me to leave the Otherworld.

The first thing I could manage to do was rush to Bennett's side. He's been in a coma for five days. If he wakes up, he won't have proper function of his legs. His sinew snapped. It's been too long to heal with magical properties. He will be wheelchair bound. He won't have a sport's scholarship. He won't have a mother. He won't have anything. Arawn took that from him. My dysfunctional father.

Bennett looked weak and the tubes stuck in his nose and wrapped in his arms prickled tears in my eyes.

For now, he's steady. That's what his doctor said. The doctors are unsure whether or not he will wake up at this point. Lugh told me as much, but he still has hope.

I wore a necklace that shadowed me from humans. If Bennett did wake, he would be able to see me. If he woke up, he would have me, but I know that grief convolutes your head. He may not be able to stomach looking at me. I'll serve as a constant reminder of my father. I'm going to lose my best friend.

Sally sacrificed herself for me. She had the gift of sight too. If only she knew the retaliation of helping me.

I slipped the fifth letter on Bennett's wooden nightstand. I write without an ounce of selfishness or convoluted thought. I poured my heart out to him in ways I never have before. He needed to know he mattered. His existence is important. It's more important than mine.

Ankou has been absent since his son died. He collects souls still, but he doesn't bother giving me any assignments. He's giving me a break. He knows what it means to grieve. He always did. Every soul collected scars him. It's his penance. His punishment from the Gods.

He did get a cat, though. For some reason animals aren't affected by his lethal touch. When he does get in contact, he won't shut up about the damn tuxedo kitten. It's helping him cope, I think.

Micah, Bennett's dad tore through the room as his eyes fixated on me. He took out a gun from his pocket and shook it in my direction.

I sighed and closed my journal. 

"You need to stop coming here, Ellie. For Bennett's sake, you need to leave." The monitor sped up in tempo as Bennett's heart strained against a rhythmic pounding. Micah didn't seem to notice.