Nathan Eaton

Chapter 5 - The Second Trimester

Tobias

Things have gotten much better at home. I'd like to say it's because I've stopped being so scared, but in reality I've just gotten much better at hiding my panic.

Like I had told Tris before, maybe things wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to see Marcus all the time at work. He gives me this knowing look, like he can already see me turning out to be a father like him.

That's the only thing that worries me, knowing that the ability for violence is already within me, it's in my DNA.

I'm not worried about loving this baby, I already love him or her more than my own life. I would do anything to protect my child, but what if it's me that he or she needs protecting from?

"Tobias!"

I startle, and look around to see my mom standing there. I thought I was the only one left here at work.

"Tobias, are you ok?" she asks me.

I've been trying hard to make things better with her, but I'm not really open with anyone but Tris, so I don't know if I can tell her what's bothering me. I'm about say that I'm fine when I realize she'd be the one that could tell me if I would turn into Marcus. She knew him when he was my age, she could tell me if she saw similarities between us.

I try to organize my thoughts, but I end up blurting it out instead, "Do you think I'll turn out to be like Marcus?"

"Tobias, you are nothing like him. Why would you be worrying about this now?"

I can't bring myself to say why, but she realizes it on her own.

"Oh... the baby."

I just nod my head, unable to look her in the eye.

"Has Tris ever made you angry? Like really angry?" she asks.

"Not really anymore, she used to make me furious when she'd go risking her life stupidly. I guess I got pretty mad and her a few months ago when she was training the Dauntless and wasn't wearing proper safety gear. She was lucky she wasn't killed." I clench my fists remembering when I had to go pick her up from the infirmary, worried sick she was really hurt.

"Did you hit her after? Try to teach her a lesson?"

"What?? No! Of course not! I would never do that!" Why the hell would she think I'd hit Tris?

"Well then, you're nothing like Marcus. He once gave me a black eye because I let the chicken burn when you were three. You had fallen and had some bad cuts I was trying to bandage, but you were crying so hard I was having a difficult time." Her face softens as she remembers, but it turns bitter as she continues. "His reasoning was because I was wasteful and that's selfish."

For a moment all I can do is stare at her, I could never imagine hurting Tris, especially for such a stupid reason. She had tried to tell me before that's how she knew I'd be a good father. "Tris told me something similar, but I didn't really believe her."

Before I know it my mom hugs me and I realize I'm hugging her back. The last time I hugged my mom was before her "funeral".

"Tobias, you have become a wonderful man. I wish I could take credit for it, but I promise you Marcus can't either. You have become the person you are all on your own."

"Well," I say with a grin, "Tris helped."

"Maybe you should get home and tell her that."

********************************************
I open the door feeling lighter than I have in months. I'm excited to see Tris after her appointment today, but my heart jumps into my throat when I see Tris on the couch crying with her hands on her swollen belly. I immediately run to her side.

"Tris! What's wrong?" I see her smile and the panic subsides a little. She takes my hand and places in on her belly, then I feel it.

"Is that the baby?" I whisper.

"Tobias, that's our son," she says which a huge smile on her face. My smile must mirror hers.

"A boy? We're having a boy?" This enthusiasm is not faked, like it has been in the past. Tris and I are having a boy.

"It's about time you got excited about this baby, Four," she says with a grin. "It was killing me to watch you pretend." She puts her hand on my cheek and gives me a look that radiates happiness. I guess I wasn't hiding the panic that well.

"I love you, Tris. And I love our son. I promise I'm going to be a good father to him."

"I never doubted it for a second," and she kisses me.

Obviously the only logically response is for me to kiss her back.