I Hope That I Make You Proud

15

(Kellin's POV)

I tapped my feet impatiently, waiting for somebody, anybody, to come tell us Vic is okay. Sitting here in this stupid morbid hospital waiting room is terrible! Mike has been in that room for almost an entire hour and I'm pretty sure everyone here is already falling asleep.

Well, everyone who still stayed. Abel and Celios left early, and I think I should have took Abels ride offer. Obviously I want to know what happened with Vic, but at the same time I really don't want anything to do with him.

He overdosed on drugs? Fan-fucking-tastic.

I've been using this time in the waiting room for a while to think, but I really can't wrap my head around this. Why on earth did Vic overdose? Why did he hit me? Why am i here waiting for someone who reminds me of my mother?

All this thinking made my head spin, but it's just so hard. It's hard trying to understand. Getting bruised and battered isn't exactly something you'd want, and that's why I don't understand. He hurt me so bad, yet I'm still here. God knows I didn't stick around for my mother to eventually 'get better'.

Overthinking makes my head pound but right now I just feel like I'm gonna implode. I want everything to go back to the way it was before. No more stupid surprises. Definitely no more fighting, but most certainly I want Vic back.

The old Vic would never do something like this, right? I want to go back to being in his arms and..just like the old times. I want to go back to being couple-y and in love. Sharing my life with him was undoubtedly something I adored. Calling each other pet names is another thing I miss. I miss him calling me his 'corazon'.

That's something I'll probably never get back. It makes me so frustrated because we were doing so good before. It's driving me crazy because he's tangled in the great fucking escape and I can't help him because I don't understand. I'm dying to know.

"Guys? Guys, he's awake!" My thoughts cut short as a frantic jittery Mike jogged in. The three of us jumped out of our seats and looked at him expectantly. Now that I think about it, I don't think I want to see Vic.

"Then what are we waiting for? Take us!" Jaime exclaimed. He looked the most shaken up out of all of us. He's the one who found Vic unconscious and whatnot. I, on the other hand, am not ready. All that time I had to think wasn't enough, I haven't properly thought about this. What if I go and he does it again? What if he tells me I was the reason he overdosed? Was it my fault? Who am I kidding? It's totally my fault.

I didn't notice Tony and Jaime were following Mike until Tony turned looked at me in exasperation.

"Are you coming?" He urged me, looking back at the guys who turned the corner of the hall. He sighed and waved me off, before speaking again.

"Look, you can come or you can stay. But you guys are never gonna fix whatever this is if you don't talk. Communication is key." I kept my eyes on the ground, fighting back tears as his words sunk in. Soon, I hear his footsteps retreating down the hall.

Why am I so stupid? Maybe I shouldn't have come, or maybe I should go. I'm never gonna find out if I don't know. Tony might be right, but he doesn't understand what it's like. As far as I know, Michael has never done something like this to him.

I glared at everything that whipped by me as I found myself jogging to keep up with Tony. I saw his body turn the same corner Mike and Jaime did, so I picked up the pace. Biting my lip, I turned the corner almost bumping into a nurse pushing a patient in a wheel chair. Excusing myself, I kept jogging up to a door I saw Tony open.

The second i walked into the room, I felt a sense of nausea. He just lying there with tubes stuck down his throat. He looked exhausted, but the minute he walked in here he seemed to wake up a bit more. I couldn't even form any words, everything I wanted to say flew out the window and all I could do was stare at him.