[18] split

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She hadn't really meant it, Snape fretted late that night, lying awake in the Slytherin dormitory. We're always fighting, off and on, this is just another fight, he told himself, hoping it was true. But he knew, in a sinking corner of his heart, that it was over for good. He reached over to the nightstand beside his bed and grabbed an old muggle photograph of the two of them. They were both grinning ecstatically; the picture had been taken right when they gotten their Hogwarts letters. Mr and Mrs. Evans, beaming with pride, had whipped out a camera and snapped the shot. Nothing is ever going to be the same, he thought, and as this realisation hit him, he felt his eyes get wet. Don't cry, he urged himself, not here, not now. What would the other boys say if they heard him sobbing into his pillow? Would they tease him? If they were still in first year, maybe, but now, no, they wouldn't dare. They respected him to much. No, a small voice in his head said. They don't respect you, you know that's not the right word. He lay there for a second before it came to him. Fear. They fear me. And with that the tears ran down his cheeks shamelessly, for one reason and one reason only: he had become the monster Lily had feared he would become.

***

The wind gushed through James Potter's hair and his stomach burned, adrenaline coursing all throughout his veins: he couldn't remember ever being happier. He squeezed the hand of the person holding it and running along next to him on his right side, and Lily's head of reddish-brown hair turned to face him, exposing her face. Just as she winked at him, the footfalls behind them got louder, as did the shouts of the caretaker.

"LITTLE BRATS! YOU COME BACK HERE! I'M GOING TO SKIN THE LOT OF YA!"

Sirius, who was clutching James' left hand, let out a comical "You'll never take us alive!" while cackling.

"That's right!" yelled Remus over his shoulder, who was holding Sirius' other hand and looking happier than he had in a long time. Peter, who was being dragged along by Lily, said nothing, but instead continued to gasp for air. Once they got ahead of the caretaker by a couple corners, they took the opportunity to catch their breath.

"Let's go," said Remus, "he'll be coming 'round the corner any second now."

"Wait!" said Lily, "Look!"

She was pointing to where the wall had been moments earlier. Now, in its place, stood a handsome oak door.

"The room of requirement," said Sirius happily. Then, looking around at all of them, he added, "Who was asking for it?"

Still gasping, Peter raised a small hand.

"Good thinking," he said, ruffling the other boy's hair. Peter beamed. James bellowed,

"THE MARAUDERS RULE!" before they all hurried into the room, which was small, simple and contained only a small collection of chairs and couches, enough for all of them to sit, arranged in a circle.

They all sunk into various armchairs and such. James plopped himself down next to Lily on a faded, velvet, blue loveseat. He noticed her hand, lying on the couch in between them. He'd loved holding her hand while they were running; and he wanted to hold it again. But that was different. He knew that them, all holding hands as friends as they ran together, was very different than them holding hands alone, just for the sake of holding hands. His train of thought was cut of when Sirius spoke.

"Seriously guys, the marauders are the best."

The others whooped and cheered, but Lily only gave a sad smile. Of course, James was the only one who noticed. Actually, no, that's not right. Remus noticed too, because he was the watchful one, and he knew what it looked like to hold in feelings, but later on, in the name of their love story, all the marauders would say that only James had noticed. Remus is the type of person to get brushed aside, you know.

"What's wrong, Lily?"

"Hm?" she said, startled, "Oh, nothing."

"Don't give me that. We're friends, right? Tell me what's up."

The other boys were now looking at her expectantly.

"Oh all right. I'm not mad or anything, but you guys have got your group of best friends, the marauders, and even though I'm really close to you all now, I'll never be- you know- well, one of the gang. I feel sort of excluded."

James responded at once. He grabbed both her hands and held them in his, making her blush, and said:

"Lily Evans, the marauders is nothing but a stupid title. You are one of us, through and through."

"You're right, I was being stupid."

The marauders resumed chatter, and nobody noticed that James was still holding one of Lily's hands. Except for Remus, because Remus was the watchful one.

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