Friends are the best presents

Empty inside

Trying to get the fact that Ashley has gone for a short holiday....
I just tell myself for hundred times like: She will be back soon, she might be back soon,...

When she left, I promised to spam her harder than usual.
I even told our friend- Louise to do the same

Dear Louise,
You might have known that Ashley has gone for a short holiday w/ her family rite? So yes, now it's time for us to spam her
Love,
Mia

Dear Mia,
Yes, Ash has told me so, we can do it together. But not now, I'm busy (walking 5 miles, pray for me) I will be back soon.

To Louise,
I will pray for you, for sure. When you be back, let me know then we can do it. Have fun walking

To Mia,
Thank you, ilysm xx

Okay, I now have my spamming friend

While waiting for Louise to come back, I am actually rewinding every messages and tweets between Ashley and me, I remember she once asked me to read 'The maze runner' and I haven't read yet, roll my eyes at the clock, it's 5 pm, the book store might be opening, check through notifications, make sure Louise hasn't come back, roll my eyes around, it starts raining, put on my black jacket, make sure I won't leave my wallet at home, put it together w/ my phone in the inner pocket, walk downstairs, grab the umbrella and walk through the door. Luckily, it is half an hour to go until I have to pick my little sister up at her school, my parents are going for a business trip so I am at home with my little sister. It also means I will have to prepare every meals in a day, but my mom has left some money at home in case I have nothing to eat, but she is just overworried, so I will eat out whenever I'm lazy.
I will have half an hour in the book store. Almost impossible, it usually takes me an hour there whenever I look for a book... Here I go, the maze runner, uhmm... Only one left, kind of old, a little bit dusty, but that's okay. I asked for the new one, and the seller said if I want, I will have to wait for 6-7 months. Thinking of the fact that I will have nothing new to read in the next few days have left me to the acceptance the old one. Honestly, it's not that old, just bc it's not so new but who cares, I love the story inside. Roll my eyes at the clock, it's 5:20 already, the first time I chose a book under half an hour. Roll my eyes around for the last time, make sure I wouldn't miss anything, but ugh, I can see 'The possesion' I have never read that but that is my fav movie, stare at the clock 5:23, got to pay and leave right away, I tell myself that I don't have enough money to buy more. Finished the buying stuff, I walk to my lil sister's school to pick her up. I regret a little bit, my little sissy hasn't finished her class yet, I still have time, and even enough money to buy The Possesion but if I go back to the book store now, it will be late. I hate myself... 10 minutes later, I walk home with my sis, she is enjoying chocolate ice-cream, we walk home and it's already 6 pm and I'm lazy so I order pizzas, as usual I would tell Ashley to do the same and we will eat together at the same time... But not now, after received the pizza, the restaurant is just opposite from my house but c'mon, it's raining outside... I grabbed my phone, Louise tweeted me half an hour ago. Okay, being rude for a little while is okay right? Pizza is more important... Slowly enjoy pizza and memorizing all the time I talked to Ash while we both eating pizzas... Makes my heart hurts a little bit...
Finished the last piece...
Oh, Louise, she replied me like half an hour ago

To Mia,
Okay, I'm here now. Where are you?
Love,
Louise

To Louise,
Oh I'm sorry Louise. I'm even half an hour later, I'm sorry
Love,
Mia

To Mia,
That's okay, don't be sorry, just start now. I will message her and you tweet her. Okay?
Love,
Louise

Hey Louise,
Okay, I will go by tweets
Lots of love
Mia

After a little while I told Louise:
OMG HELP I'M LACK OF DYLAN
- Lol, let me send you some- Louise replied
What I call spam here is to send Ash photos of her idols which makes her gone crazy all the time...
*Louise just sent me photos of Dylan*
- Oh woah, thank you- I replied
Is it weird that this is the first time I talk to Louise through messages? Even though I have known her for quite a long time, but it's just that, first time we go by messaged
I can't even count how many photos nor messages I have sent Ashley on that day, just uncountable... But I just pretend like Ash is here, talking to me but honestly I feel like there is a deep empty hole inside... Hopefully Louise is doing the same we both don't know if we are annoying Ashley or not but hopefully we don't.... It's pretty crazy to message a person again and again when she isn't there.
It's friendship day today.
The very first day related to Friendship that I don't have Ash here, for the very first time... I will just tweet her:

Dear Ashley and Louise
Hey, thank you so much for being there as my sweetest baes for such a long time. Love you all so much
Lots of love
Mia

Louise replied right away:
Dear Mia,
Aww, I love you so much much.

I smiled at that reply...
I waited for Ash.... Clock ticked, hours passed....
Day ended, I remembered that Ash hasn't come back yet, she is still on holiday.
I talked to Louise but she didn't reply.... I called Anton but he is also busy anyway... I turned on the TV, played my fav playlist... Nothing worked, every little thing I do reminds me of Ashley, the conversations we had, started rewinding slowly in my mind like a video, every photos I have sent Ash before played back in my mind like an old tape of your photographs you found in the box around the corner in the tree house which has been forgotten for a while, now it got played and the beautiful memories go back to you... I told myself to be fine, I told myself that Ash will come back soon, that everything will be okay... I feel my cheeks got wet... The tears streaming down my face, started to wet my baby blue pillow. And for the first time, I was looking for my teddy bear... Here I go, my birthday gift when I was 7, it is a fluffy white huge teddy with a cream scarf which made it special, Ash also loves teddy bear and we always share the same love for teddies every time when each of us have to sleep... And here I am, hugging a teddy bear and thinking of Ashley imagining that she is hugging her teddy like what am I doing right now

It has been a hard time for me to overcome easily... I don't know how Ashley feel but to me this has left me a deep empty hole inside