A Burning Desire (Johnlock Fanfic)

Gone

A/N ~ MOST DEFINITELY A TRIGGER WARNING. DEFINITELY READ WITH CAUTION.

Sherlock came back to an empty house. "I'm sorry I took so long John, Lestrade had me analyse a piece of scripture that had been found" he was saying as he walked to the bedroom. "It was all rather dull really. The paper was torn in half so I couldn't read much obviously. Are you listening John?" That's when he saw the note on the bed.

Dear Sherlock,
I'm sorry you have to read this. I had to leave. It was sudden and last minute but I had to go. It isn't you, I promise. I know you're going to want answers but I can't and I won't give them to you. Listen, you've been amazing. You are everything to me, I just want you to know that. Honestly, you are. Don't for one second think that this is your fault because it isn't. This is me simply saying goodbye. Just remember Sherlock, this is not your fault. None of this is. Please, keep smiling.

~John

"You have got to be kidding me. Please let this be a joke or a game or anything." Sherlock searched the flat frantically looking for John in the unlikely event that he was hiding somewhere or at least a clue as to where he had gone. After ten minutes of searching and a further five in his Mind Palace, Sherlock gave up. Nothing. He hurriedly called Mycroft. "John'sgoneandIcan'tfindhimanywhereandIdon'tknowwhattodo." He said so fast it appeared to come out as a single word.

Mycroft:

"Say that again slowly Sherlock."

"John's gone and I can't find him anywhere and I don't know what to do." He replied a little slower so his brother could understand.

Mycroft:

"Have you searched the flat?"

"Of course I have! I'm not a bloody idiot Mycroft!"

Mycroft:

"Well?"

"I obviously haven't found anything! He left a note but all it says is goodbye, he hasn't said where he's going or anything!"

Mycroft:

"Calm down, hes probably gone to the shops."

Sherlock angrily hung up. Mycroft was no good. Where was John? Sherlock ran out of the flat to search for John.

It had been five hours since John had left. He was running through a forest as fast as his legs would carry him. He was terrified. He was on his own for good now, or so he thought. "You may have left Sherlock behind but you'll never leave us behind." John felt tears spring to his eyes. "Just leave me alone!" He yelled. The voice in his head laughed. "Oh John, me leave you alone? No chance. Just give in. You're useless and pathetic." John sunk to his knees. The voice was right. He was nothing. "You know what to do John. Or are you too afraid?" The voice taunted. "Are you not strong enough?" It laughed. With a heavy heart John took the knife, gun, and pills from his backpack. What was he good for anyway? He also took out a pen and paper to write a final note to Sherlock in case he happened to find his dead body.

Dear Sherlock,

In case you found me and are reading this: I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean for it to come to this, I didn't want to do this, but I did. Because I wanted you to be happy and rest assured that you'd never have to see my worthless face again. Where do I start? When you left my entire world shattered and I knew it was my fault. Who'd want me around? I was nothing. I was a nobody. What good was I? I wasn't. So I left and I planned to make the world a better place. This was my solution.
You probably want answers so here they are. Once you left I sunk into a dark place. It was dark but I learned who I truly was. I think I've made it it clear enough what that is. So in a way that dark place saved both you and I.
I left because you don't truly need me around. I've done nothing to help you so why pull me out of that fire? You can be so bloody stupid Sherlock. I havent helped you in any of your cases. That's always just been you. I was just there because you felt sorry for me weren't I?
That night I woke up absoletly terrified? Yeah that was the final straw. I sort of lied to you. That was my demons telling me to die. Telling me I had to do it soon. So guess what I did.
I did all this so you could be happy. I love you Sherlock. You are my everything. I wanted nothing more than to be yours. I just wish I could have told you face to face. But anyway, it's getting late and I better hurry up.

Goodbye Sherlock.
Love forever and always,

John

John read back over the tear stained note before placing it on the ground nearby. He swalled a handful of pills and then slit his wrists before holding a gun to his head in a trembling hand. He was shaking violently and he was crying, tears blurring his vision. As the clocktower announced midnight John pulled the trigger. Then, he was gone.