Twisted Scars (Ongoing)

31. Itha's past (part-1)

Itha's POV:

"Will you allow me to enter your darkness, Reyansh? Will you let me be a part of it? Because for me, you matter. No matter where you are, I will follow you there. I will be wherever My Man is. I don't know how or when, but I am falling in love with you, Reyansh. And I know there is no turning back.
You say there is only darkness in your life, but trust me if it is you, I would embrace the darkness like a warm light and stay with you forever."

I wanted to say this. Every word screamed in my chest.
Instead, what left my lips was, "I don't know what you'll say after hearing my story. About my life. My darkness. My nightmares."

He stepped forward, took my hands in his and squeezed gently.

"I will listen to everything. Even if you've gone through your worst, I will be there for you. No matter what, I will support you, until my last breath."

The sincerity in his eyes rooted me in place. I only managed a small nod before he led me to the huge couch in the living room. I sat and he sat beside me, never letting go of my hand.

I turned to speak, but the words refused to come. My throat tightened. My chest ached.
Don't ask me if I trust him because I do. If there's one person I want to trust with my life, it's him. I know he will never leave me.

"Listen" he said softly "take a deep breath. You don't have to say it if you're not comforta-"

I silenced him with my palm against his lips.
"If there is one person I am most comfortable with, it's you, Reyansh. It's not about comfort. I just... don't know how to say it."

He leaned closer, wrapping his arms around me. My head found its place on his shoulder.

"You don't have to think so much" he murmured, his breath warm against my hair.
"Just let it out. If you trust me, then let it out, Itha. And trust me... the one who gave you pain will never get away from me so easily." His voice darkened at the end, sending a shiver down my spine.

I lifted my head. His eyes met mine.
the only eyes that had ever given me comfort.

"R-Reyansh... I-I always wanted to be loved. I always wanted someone to be truly happy to see me. To ask me how my day was not out of habit, but because they genuinely cared." My voice cracked. Tears slid down, unstoppable.

Reyansh pulled me into his arms, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"You know, my parents loved me... I don't blame them. But a part of me still expected more. I wanted them to sit with me. To share things with me. But mine was not a normal family. There were fights. Misunderstandings. So much noise.

I'm thankful there was no abuse, no hitting, but... a little girl watching all that still broke. She didn't know what to do."

My breath quickned. The memory made its way out.

"I remember once... I was about to leave for school. I was in my room when I heard shouting. I ran to the hall but froze near the half-closed door. They were screaming at each other. It got worse. Things were being thrown. My small body was trembling.

I stepped inside, hoping they would stop when they saw me. They did see me... but they didn't stop. They kept shouting. Kept breaking. I screamed for them to stop. But they didn't hear me."

My chest tightened. My hands shook. "I was only six or seven, Reyansh. I didn't deserve that. I d-di-" My voice broke. I couldn't breathe. The weight of it all pressed down like chains. I was giving up. I don't want to get panic attacks now.

"Itha...jaan...look at me. Look at me, Itha. Breathe. Please, breathe. You have to breathe for me, jaan. We can't change the past. I know it wasn't nothing, but for now, stop going back there. Please. PLEASE LOOK AT ME, ITHA. EK BAAR DEKHO MERE TARAF. JAAN NIKAL JAAYEGI MERA AGAR TUMHE KUCH HO GAYA TOH. AISE HI JAAN NAHI BOLTA HOON..."

His voice was frantic, breaking, almost shouting. He was panicking more than I was.

I let out a sad chuckle, tried to slow my breath and finally looked at him. His face was etched with worry.
Worry for me.

And that...just that..made me smile through the tears.

I threw my arms around him, holding him tight. I don't want to lose him.

All my life, I had searched for this kind of worry, this kind of love, from my parents. From my blood. I never received it.
But here it was written in Reyansh's eyes, his hands were trembling with the fear of losing.. i can feel it in his voice.

I never expected I would find it in the man I fell in love with.

So this was the first part of itha's past. I don't know if you could relate but if any of you relate to her. I am so sorry..coz you didn't deserve it. Also trust me you will find your Reyansh who will give you all the happiness you deserve. Coz you deserve it, sweetheart. Don't just lose hope..I know it's easy for me to say but trust only I know it better.
I don't know why I am talking so much today.

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