Itha
She is kind but heartless too. she is talkative but only with her loved ones. she is all strong but deep inside she is carrying not less than any ocean of sorrows; there are so many unshed tears ready to fall anytime. Even after everything she...
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He didn’t think for a second before hugging me. His arms wrapped around me like I was his whole life.
After a few minutes, I found my voice again.
“This continued… fights became normal for me. Taunts became routine. Slowly, everything drifted apart. Then one day, I was asked to choose. Choose one parent.
I remember crying and asking them how can I choose when I love both? But they didn’t understand, Reyansh. They didn’t understand the storm tearing me apart inside. To them, it was easy. To me… it was unbearable. Because even if I chose one, I will feel guilty and pain all my life for betraying the other one.
I was only a child, but I understood the cruelty of it. I understood the pain. The betrayal i will give to one person. Was that so easy for them?? Did they not feel any pain??? Did they even think about me for once?? Just once??? Were tyey afraid of losing me just like i was??? But still… somehow they didn’t divorce. For a moment, I felt like I have hope. But what came after was worse.
My father started drinking. He drowned in his pain. My mother was drowning in hers. And I… I was the one dying in between. They forgot me. I watched it all, too young to even understand. And then, too old to ever forget. I grew up doing all my things myself. I don't wanted to depend on anyone. People call me rude, they think I have attitude, people think I am heartless but In reality I didn't know how to ask for help. I felt like if I ask some help from someone I might end up being burden. Just like I felt I was burden for my parents. I-if I wouldn't have bor-" he didn't let me finish the last sentence
“Don’t. Please don’t finish that sentence. You don’t even know yet, but because of you… there is someone who finally feels hope again. Someone who was dead inside for years now wants to live. Wants to do everything. for you. Wants to be the best man he can be… for you.”
“Itha… tell me everything. Every pain you’ve carried, every wound you’ve buried. The agony of all these years what your younger self felt, what broke her, what she longed for. Don’t hold anything back. I want to know it all.” He said cupping my face wiping away the tears. I nodded and continued
“You know, Reyansh… sometimes I feel like if I hadn’t been there, they would’ve just divorced and lived their lives. But because of me, they couldn’t. I don’t want to think that way, but my mind doesn’t listen. It whispers that I was the problem..burden.”
His eyes darkened the moment he heard me. “No. No, Itha… don’t ever think that. You were never the problem. You were never a burden.You were just a child. A child who deserved love, warmth, and care. Everything that ever went wrong… it was never yours to carry. Do you hear me? Never.” His voice was filled with anger but still it was tender.
He got angry just because I said I am burden? Godd tell me one thing, did u hear all my prayers? Did u send him for me? Forget that I know the answer you heard my prayers not only that you sent the best person for me. My Saviour he is. I doubt if I ever looked for a love by myself then I would get the person like Reyansh. Maybe all these years I waited patiently for my love was worth it.
I swallowed hard, my voice barely a whisper. “But it still feels so heavy… this guilt, this fear. Even now, I can’t forget it.”
He pressed his forehead to mine, his breath warm against my skin. “Then let me carry it with you. Every ounce. You don’t have to do this alone anymore, Itha. Never alone.”
I closed my eyes, letting his words sink in. For the first time, it felt like someone believed in me… like maybe, just maybe, I could believe in myself too.
"You know Festivals hurt the most. I would see other families celebrating together and i felt jealous. Why not me? Why couldn’t I have that?
Diwali was my favorite festival. I still remember one year, I was so excited. Papa had even brought crackers. I got ready, waiting for night. When it was finally night I stepped out of my room all ready, i was wearing my favourite lehenga but I found them fighting again. They didn’t care I was standing there. They threw taunts, venom in every word. When I tried to go closer, they snapped at me to go back inside.
I stood rooted i didnt even move a inch. Then they both shouted at me. No reason. Just anger. I ran back to my room, shut the door and pressed myself against the window.
Outside, the world was glowing. Fireworks lit up the sky. Kids were laughing. I saw a little girl scared to light a cracker, and her father gently held her hand, helping her. She giggled when the sparkles burst and her mother laughed too. He lifted her, twirling her in the golden light and they were so happy.
I cried. Because my life was nothing like that. My sky was filled with darkness. My family was already broken.
As I grew older, I stopped expecting much. Maybe expecting nothing at all. My parents gave me everything materialistic. But all I wanted was love. And maybe… maybe that was too expensive.
They were good parents, yes. But as a couple? They failed. That’s why I never chose one.
And then… I met him. My ex. He was my senior. We fell in love. He didn’t know about my family because I never told him. I wasn’t comfortable. But his care… it felt like everything I had been missing.
They say when we don’t get the love we needed at home, we search for it outside. And when someone shows us even a little bit of it, we cling to it. That’s what I did. I mistook it for love.
Biggest mistake of my life.
In the beginning, he did love me. I believe that. But years passed… and one day, I saw him at a cafe kissing another girl.
That was it. I broke up with him. I thought that would be the end. But it wasn’t. His words cut me deeper than his betrayal.
He called me names. He spat venom. But one sentence… one sentence carved itself into me, Reyansh.
He said I would never be happy. That I would never have a happy family. That I didn’t deserve happiness, because everyone would leave me. That my parents would abandon me because I was a curse. That wherever I went… I carried bad luck with me.
That night, I wanted to die. Because for the first time… I believed him.”
My voice shook. My body trembled as I completed this
Reyansh didn’t say anything at first. He only wiped my tears, shaking his head violently as though rejecting every word I had spoken. His jaw was tight. His veins stood out. His eyes..God, his eyes were filled with rage.
And then without a word, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead. He didn’t move. He just held them there, letting the kiss linger as if he could seal every wound, erase every scar.
I closed my eyes, sinking into that moment. For the first time in years, my body wasn’t trembling from fear or loneliness but from the embrace of the man I had fallen in love with..holding me like I mattered, like I was irreplaceable.
God this chapter and the previous chapter has my heart. I poured every emotion in this chapter. Trust me when I say I cried while writing this. If every girl finds a man like reyansh then maybe she might get all the love she once dreamt of. I really have a question though.. Why God gives the most unbearable pain to the one who is already in the verge of giving up or already in pain? I mean why does he even adds one more pain???
Anyways if you guys liked this chapter please do vote and comment your thoughts Thank you for giving my book a try❤️
