Moonlit Requiem (Moon Knight X Reader)

Chapter 29

Y/N POV
⚠️WARNING: cursing, violence

       The moment I left the apartment I headed to the rooftops and bolted out of the doors as quick as I could. I didn't know where I was running to, I just knew I couldn't stop. Everything looked blurry through my eyes. Even with my suit on I could still barely see anything in the night. The lights of the city had the glimmer that didn't seem normal. Everything wasn't sharp as it looked before. My breath was heavy, my lungs felt like they were on fire, my throat having the unfamiliar lump that felt stuck. I wasn't thinking when I took off, didn't care if anyone saw me, never batted an eye to my surrounding area. I was getting sloppy. This shouldn't have happened, none of this should've started to begin with. I should've kept my mouth shut, ignored him, never even bothered to put him in my path. I never should have been in this city in the first place. I should been in the underworld, protecting those lost souls of the sanded sea. Continued my training all while being able to take down Vance and his men. I could've handled this all on my own. Why didn't do this on my own, why couldn't I be on my own. Why did Marc have to be brought into my life? Why did he have to have this charm about him? Why did he act like he cared about me? Why did he act like he liked my company? Why did he even the and love a monster like me-"Y/N!" I tripped over my feet and was now being held over the edge. I could see the cars down below passing by through my teary eyes. I was then pulled up by my collar and was thrown onto the ground behind me. I unmasked myself and began panting, trying to get as much air as I could into my lungs. The cold air in the summer night seemed to burn my throat as I tired to steady my breathing. "What the hell were you thinking?! Running off like a fucking chicken with his head cut off?!" I looked above me to see Anubis with an expression I could quite figure out. I never said anything, I never took my eyes off his, I just stared...as if the words he spoke was in another language. "You gonna talk or just stare at me like an idiot?!" I looked down for a moment before looking back up with furrowed brows. "No sir." I spoke lowly before getting up and fixing my posture. "Now...What the hell has gotten into you?" "I'm not sure sir. It won't happen again." I watched as he shook he his slightly. "You can drop the act Y/N...I know something is wrong. You may be a soldier but you're human. And I understand you beings have feelings and can be emotional-" "But that's the thing Anubis, I can't have those things! I am the protector of the underworld, the avatar of death, there is no room for feelings! There is no room for mistake, no room for anything other than the mission!...and...I couldn't even do that..." I dropped onto one knee and had my head hang low. "I failed to stay on track of the mission...I failed you, Anubis." I fought back the tears that began to fill my eyes. All these emotions in such a short amount of time has taken a toll on me. From feeling nothing to something in the matter of months has been draining. "Get up." I slowly lifted my head up to glance into his eyes. "Get up." I put my hand on my right knee and began to stand back up. "You never once failed me Y/N. You are much more than just an avatar. Much more than just the protector of lost souls...you're family, Y/N...I may not act like it nor show this, but I care for you. I've watched you grow up to be this incredible young woman. To be put through the training I had given you, and to be able to still keep standing after all those years is something no mortal can do. Y/N, the reason we forced this mission upon you is so you can grow and learn from your own kind. Someone who is similar to you, who can relate to you, who knows what it's like to be an avatar...That is something none of us have been able to do." I furrowed my eyes slightly as I heard his words. My eyes felt the burning sensation of tears beginning to slowly fall. His words have never hit me this hard, the emotions he has let show in front of me is something so rare to see, it's left me speechless. To hear that I'm like family had felt like I was punched in the stomach. I never once thought I had a family to call my own, to be apart of these Egyptian deities, these beings that everyone believes to be myths had my heart aching. I always believed I was only just their servant, to do the bidding they couldn't do. To do the missions no one else was capable to do. But to hear I was family...made me feel something that I couldn't find the words to describe. "We wanted and expected you to start having emotions, to start having joy in your life. To be able to laugh once again. Though, we never expected you to find love with someone, let alone would it have been Marc Spector." "I'm sorry, in love with Spector? No, that isn't possible sir. I think you might be mistaken.." I watched as he rose a brow ever so slightly before speaking. "I may be a god with few to many emotion's but I can smell love from miles away." "Well, maybe your nose is broken then. Cause I'm not in love with that idiot." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "Oh yeah? If you're not in love then why continue to see him? Why continue to keep in contact? And why would you have tears when you broke it off? See, someone who isn't in love wouldn't have continued to do as much as you had done in the span of a couple of months. You wouldn't have ran out all this way if there wasn't any feelings of love...and to top it all off, have you even realized where you're even at?" Before I tried to speak I was confused as to what he even meant, until I looked around and saw where I had ended up. "Tower Bridge..." I spoke softly as I gazed into the horizon of the city that was torn apart by the river. I stared in disbelief while I heard a small huff come from beside me. "This is the very same spot you and Marc began to start getting along. I could just see that change in you that night. Both of us did. And from then on, you two began to sit here almost every sunset and talk...it was...nice, to hear you smile, to be human for once." As I heard his words I couldn't hold back the tears that began to escape. I slowly fell to my knees as I sobbed, my chest aching, my breath uneven. The entire time I've been with these gods, I've never once felt a pain like this before. A unfamiliar gut wrenching feeling that was worse than being stabbed or shot. Atleast with those, the wounds would heal. I could patch up easily, but this time there isn't such remedy. "Anubis..." I spoke out through my tears. "...why do I feel this pain?..why do I care so much about what that idiot had to say?..." I looked up at him with my glossy eyes as I waited for his response. He slowly began to crouch down until only one knee hit the concrete floor. "The answer is simple. I can easily tell you, but is it an answer you're willing to accept?" I furrowed my eyes slightly before glancing back at the ground. Accept? What is there to accept? The only thing I can think of is that one foul word I never want to say. But if that's the case...then how did I end up feeling that way to begin with? That word is sacred to, never once letting it slip out, never once letting the thought cross my mind. But that could be the only explanation as to why I've been acting this way to begin with. If I never felt such thing, I wouldn't be here having tears fall like rain does on warm night. I looked up him slowly as I awaited his answer. "I'm willing...I'll accept whatever answer you tell me." I said slightly firm. He sighed slightly before getting up and gazed into the horizon. "I think you know the answer by now. You're smart enough to understand such things. But if you want to hear the answer from me...it's love. All those feelings, the smile you get when you're around him, the feeling of time stopping, even the pain you're going through right now. Is all because you love him. You care for him. And he cares for you. You may not like this truth but it is one you're going to have to acknowledge." And with those words being said, he vanished within the warm breeze blowing past. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them as I placed my chin on my arms. The silence felt deafening to me. I never realized how quiet it was to be alone without his company. As time went past, night soon became dawn as the sun began to rise as the moon slowly started loosing its white glow. All those hours all I could do was think of what it would be like to be with him. Think about how badly I messed up, how I slapped him after he yelled, how I stormed out of that apartment room. All these thoughts of thinking of how to fix it but yet not a single one could I think of a solution. God, why did I ever say anything to him at that museum...why did it hurt this much to let someone you loved go...